When Poles Collide
by DarkTragicAngel
Summary: For many centuries Thor and Loki live a whirling relationship. A destructive attraction. Love and hatred, trust and betrayal, sorrow and regret, so much pain, so much blissfulness. Follow the development of their characters, how their actions and decisions shape the fate of their lives and relationship. Inspired in the "Thor" and the "Avenger's" franchise. THORKI
1. Growing Apart

_**About this story:**_

_**It follows the several stages of Thor and Loki's lives before, during and after the "Thor" and "The Avengers" franchise. I've also let myself be inspired by some elements of the Marvel animated movie "Thor: Tales of Asgard"; and also by the comic story-line from Marvel for the chapters following "Thor: The Dark World". I did not read the comics, limited myself in searching on internet the plot line to give so basis to this story.**_

_**It is, of course a Fanfic, which means, this story is product of my own imagination. The situations and quotes I'll use from the movies and comics are merely used to make it seem more consistent and allow the plot to flow easier.**_

_**It's rated M because of explicit sex imaginary, yet, nothing out of the extraordinary. **_

_**I will update weekly.  
><strong>_

_**The first chapter is an introduction to the story, and therefore, very small. All the following chapters will be at least twice as long.**_

_**I hope you'll enjoy, it's my first Thorki fanfic. Please review in the end! :)  
><strong>_

_**DTA**_

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><p>For many centuries Asgard has lived times of peace and prosperity. The prudent rule of the Allfather had made sure that fragile truces survived undisturbed for over a millennium, just like old alliances have strengthened by the passing of centuries. Odin savored a time of constancy but new worries started to evolve in his mind and in his heart. His boys were growing up and fast. Thor had just reached adulthood. He had proven to be a talented warrior, but his thirst for battle concerned the old sovereign. His eldest son was letting himself be blinded by triumph, becoming arrogant and proud. The first born was to become king, but Thor was still a too immature prince. He lacked humbleness, wisdom and prudence. Just like he lacked knowledge in general political affairs.<p>

Odin's youngest son, on the other side, was yet to reach adulthood. Nevertheless, the teenager already possessed an outstanding intellect and understanding about politics and war strategies. He was astute and cautious, but he possessed a dark side that concerned greatly the Allfather. Loki was ambitious. He was compensating his lack in fighting skills through the mastering of magic. He was compensating his physical boundaries through the power of words, learning the deceiving arts of manipulation and lies. Odin feared the boy was doing everything to get the crown. Above all, he feared to what kind of corrupted measures Loki would carry out in order to achieve his goal.

The Allfather stood at the balcony of his chambers and observed the warriors practice with a watchful eye. Thor was training his combating skills with his friends Sif and the Warriors Three. His moves were steady, strong and powerful. But he bragged too much, overpraising himself after each and every small victory. Odin's single blue eye shifted to the public seats where only one person was to be found, Loki. He had left the arena about a half an hour ago, after he was defeated over and over again by the others. He had left when his brother and friends teased him for his downfalls. Odin knew the others meant no harm, but was aware the younger prince felt ridiculed and humiliated, even though he did not let it transpire. Loki's attention was now focused on a book and was only broken once in a while, when his brother called out for him to brag another victory. Odin scoffed at Thor's childish display to gain his little brother's attention.

The old king sighed worriedly. He knew Loki was horribly envious about Thor. He also had a mild feeling the teenager absolutely despised Sif and the Warriors Three. However, what bothered him the most was that lately Loki's face had become more difficult to read. He was becoming a closed book. The only times he succeeded to break the prince's cool façade was during their heated discussions, which were becoming more frequent. While Thor was the compliant son, Loki was beyond doubt, the defiant one.

"You worry about the boys, my lord." Odin did not need to turn around to know it was his wife and confident that spoke to him. He listened to her almost silent but steady pacing, as she walked in his direction until she reached the balcony and stood by his side. Odin smiled. He knew Frigga meant it as a statement and not as a question.

"Thor is becoming an arrogant and unwise prince. While Loki is becoming dangerously ambitious. They are both taking unworthy paths in becoming kings."

"They are growing apart from each other." Frigga regretfully said.

"They are becoming complete opposites from each other." Odin added.

"You know you can turn that into an advantage." Frigga said and Odin turned to face his wife, knowing her next words would be full of wisdom. "They complement each other and compensate for each other's shortages. Thor is naïve but Loki is clever. Thor is impulsive, but Loki is prudent. Thor has the strength and popularity, Loki has the intellect and the low-profile."

"You are suggesting to name Thor king and Loki his advisor." Odin completed his wife's chain of thoughts. "But I worry it will not suffice the younger prince's desires. Loki is ambitious."

"He is. But he is also loyal to his brother, as he is to you."

"Loki is rebellious. He enjoys defying me."

"All Loki wants is to impress you, just like Thor impresses you."

"Are you implying I'm being partial in my parenting?"

"All I'm saying is that sometimes you are too strict with Loki. He's still a teenager."

"And yet he disobeys me all the time."

"Well, that's what teenagers do." Frigga said in a soft chuckle and her eyes rested on the sitting figure of her youngest son. "Loki loves you. As he loves Thor. He just needs to be reminded of that."

"What do you suggest?"

"Send Loki and Thor to the Aelhill forest with a quest. Alone. The boys will be forced to learn to deal with each other, to deal with their differences."

"You think it will help them bond again." Odin concluded, understanding his wife's brilliant plan. "I will send them with the quest of finding the Tear of Snow for the annual winter festival."

"That surely will keep them busy for a while." Frigga said with a smile while she waved at Thor, who was shaking his arm vigorously in the air, after spotting his parents. Loki lifted his head when he heard his brother calling out, this time saying father and mother. He too saw them standing at the balcony. He smiled and gave a small wave. "It's time our boys learned to treasure each other's company."

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><p><strong>So, does this small introduction incite you into reading further?<strong>

**What are your expectations or opinions of what may be going on?**

**Let me know! Please review :)**


	2. Brothers

**Chapter 2: Brothers**

Thor woke up feeling bright and excited. He was thrilled with his father's command given two days ago. He and Loki were leaving today to search this year's Tear of Snow. The quest itself was considered mild in challenges and dangers, often appointed to young soldiers. The Tear of Snow was a rare flower that only grew in the Ael peak during two weeks. It had become tradition in Asgard to bring one single Tear of Snow for the winter solstice festival as a symbol of nature's renewal cycle. However, it was not the quest itself that animated the blond prince but the idea he was to do it with his brother.

Loki had been acting increasingly distant the last weeks. No matter how hard Thor tried to spend time with the other prince, the youngest sibling seemed to always find ways to detour and avoid him. He had no idea why the raven-haired teenager was acting so reserved lately, but it bothered him immensely. He missed their companionship, he missed the complicity they used to share. Lately, Thor had been having the uncomfortable feeling his little brother was becoming a stranger to him. The reason he was radiant with this quest. Because once they had nobody around them, Loki would be forced to interact with him. Eventually, he would discover the cause of the younger brother's growing distance.

"Take good care of your brother." Frigga told Thor while she embraced him.

"Please, mother. Obviously I'll be the one taking care of him." The All Mother involuntarily grinned at her youngest son's mocking comment and he too received a warm embrace.

"The Tear of Snow is an ancient symbol for our annual winter festivity. I expect you two to return in five days with one single flower." Odin spoke with a stern voice.

"Yeah, I'll make sure Thor doesn't smash it in the way." Loki teased while he climbed on the back of his horse.

"Hold your tongue, brother. Or _you_ might not return undamaged."

"Behave yourselves, you two." Frigga reprehended with a soft knitting of her brow but couldn't resist letting out a chuckle at the wide smiles both her boys were giving her.

"Travel safe." Odin said while he banged his staff on the ground, signing the moment for leave.

The princes commanded their horses to gallop away and left Asgard's capital under the sound of loud cheering from its people. They rode on with no pauses and reached the Aelhill forest's edge just before noon. The princes savored the freshness the tree's shadows offered as they quietly entered the woods. They rode silently for a long while. Thor was the first one to break the quietness.

"I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"We should make camp and hunt down some lunch." Thor said, hiding an amused smile.

"Fine. But let us go a bit further. I think there's a lake here somewhere." Loki said while he pointed at his right.

"How do you know that?"

"You didn't think I would come unprepared for our little excursion, did you?"

"Let me guess, you went to the library and studied a map from Aelhill."

"Yes. I also read a book about its vegetation and some adventurers' stories that passed here by." Loki proudly stated and Thor barked a laughter.

"Why aren't I surprised?"

"Shhhh. Can you hear that?" Loki asked sounding excited while he cupped his hand next to his ear.

"That's the sound of…"

"Water!"

"The last one to get there is a decrepit old boar!" Thor challenged while he kicked his horse to ride fast.

Laughing together, the princes rode fast between the woods, challenging each other in speed, trying to push the other from the horse, while they followed the sound of water. Thor managed to unbalance Loki just long enough to reach first the lake with a small cascade.

"I win!" The blond Asgardian childishly cheered.

"You cheated." Loki pointed out, but was smirking from amusement. "Wow, this place is even more beautiful that its descriptions."

"Let's go for a swim!" Thor said while he was already undressing his armor.

"I thought you were hungry."

"Nothing better than a quick swim to open up the appetite." The eldest sibling said while he threw his hauberk on the ground. He noticed Loki wasn't undressing himself and looked a bit tense. "You're not coming?"

"It's probably cold." Loki awkwardly said, while he turned to the side looking uncomfortable. The blond prince stared a bit perplexed at him.

"Cold never bothered you before." Thor said with a chuckle but Loki looked the least amused by his words.

"You go and take a swim. I'm going to find us lunch." Loki said never looking at Thor and walked away before his older brother could say anything. The blond Asgardian watched silenced as the raven-haired boy made his way out through the woods. He took off the rest of his clothes off and entered the water wondering why Loki was behaving so strangely.

…

When Thor returned from the lake, he followed the scent of roasted meat until he found his little brother sitting down by a campfire roasting a hare on a spit. The youngest prince looked up and grinned.

"How was the water?"

"Freezing." Thor said, while he rubbed his bare arms and sat closer to the fire.

"Told you so." Loki chuckled and the blond Asgardian immediately knew the raven-haired boy knew more than he led on.

"You knew the water was going to be ice cold, didn't you?"

"Of course I knew. Unlike you, I'm not an ignorant oaf." Loki smugly said, his eyebrow lifting in a mischievous manner. "That water comes from River Ferirama, which springs from mountain Ael."

"Which means we only have to follow the river now!" Thor said grinning. "Well done, Loki. And you've found lunch too. I'm impressed."

The older prince felt his heart warm up when his younger sibling gave a wide proud smile. He decided he should praise his brother more often. He watched as Loki picked something from the ground and shifted to sit next to him. He opened his hand and revealed a small round yellow fruit.

"Never eat this, understand?" Loki told, fixing his eyes on Thor's with a grave expression. "It's poisonous. These, on the contrary, are good." He presented a handful of red berries he had collected on a small drape. Thor took some of them and put the berries in his mouth.

"Hum, they're tasty. What does this one do? Does it kill?" Thor asked pointing at the small yellow fruit.

"You won't die from it. But you'll get one hell of a diarrhea. And I won't be the one to wipe out your ass!"

Thor barked a laugher at his brother's witty answer and gave a friendly pat on Loki's back. The boys switched accomplice smiles. The forest was a quiet and peaceful place, the only sounds to be heard were those of birds chirping and of two brothers laughing their heads off.

…

The sun was slowly setting down, coloring the sky with a pallet of soft pink and purples and of bright reds and yellows. The young princes had been following the course of River Ferirama diligently during the whole afternoon. Both had fallen quiet for a while and Thor noticed his young sibling was staring at the changing skies with a distracted look.

"Thinking about Amora, brother?"

"Uhm…What?!" Loki almost yelled at the mention of his girlfriend's name. He felt his cheeks immediately warm up. Thor released an amused laugher.

"Come on, Loki. I know you've been spending a lot time with her."

"She's teaching me magic!" The raven-haired prince defended, but cursed for the heat that accumulated on his face.

"I think she's teaching more than just magic." The blond warrior spoke in a teasing tone, causing a scorn sound by his brother." Say…Have you guys done it already?"

"Done what, Tho… Hey! That's none of your business!" Loki yelled irate, realizing what his brother was asking.

"So you didn't. Don't worry, the moment will come." Thor said with a knowing smile very much for his brother's horror. A moment of silence followed, this time broken by Loki.

"You and Sif…have you?" Thor turned to face his curious sibling and noticed there was a slight look of expectation in his eyes.

"Yes. More than once." He calmly said with a soft smile. Another pause settled between the brothers and again silence was broken by the youngest.

"Is it good?"

"Yes it is. You should try it some time." Thor honestly said while facing his brother.

Loki swallowed nervously, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. He didn't really know what to say, so he ended nodding silently and fixed his eyes back on the darkening skies. A peaceful silence resided between the siblings until they decided stop and build a camp for the night.

…

Thor returned to the campfire feeling pleased with his latest achievement. He had just hunted a wild boar for diner. He found it odd Loki was not by the horses, but figured out his younger sibling was somewhere nearby and would return soon. But after cleaning, preparing and placing the boar in the spit, he started growing concerned with his sibling's absence and decided to go look for him. The search ended shortly, for he quickly found Loki bathing in the icy waters of River Ferirama.

"I really don't understand how you can endure that cold for so long." Thor said, while he stopped by the river's shore. The raven-haired boy had not heard him coming and flinched with a yell.

"Thor!"

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." The blond warrior apologized with a chuckle. Despite the dark, the pale moon lightened the world enough so he could see Loki's furious expression.

"Why did you sneak upon me?"

"I did no such thing. It's unlike you to not hear me approaching." The older brother defended, unable to hide his amused tone. But his joyful expression quickly transformed into a more serious one. "Where you lost in thoughts, little brother?"

"It matters not." Loki murmured upset, sensing the weightiness in his sibling's voice. He sunk further in the water until all Thor could see was his dark hair, forehead and glistening eyes.

"Care to share?"

"Mind your own business!" The younger prince suddenly spat while he stood up.

Water reached till his waist, hiding his hands. Yet the blond prince knew by the way the teenager's shoulders tensed that they were curled in fists. Thor was a bit taken aback by his brother's sudden outburst and sharp tone. He felt his own anger and frustration build up. He had been very patient with Loki lately, with all his crazy mood swings, which were really starting to annoy him.

"Well, excuse me if I'm concerned! Because you've been acting differently lately, brother! Why won't you confine me what bothers you?"

"There is nothing to confine!" Loki shouted back at his brother. "Now go away, I want to get dressed."

"What's the matter? It's not like I never saw you naked before."

"Just …" The younger prince sighed and forced to calm down. "Just give me some privacy, okay?" Thor looked confused and a bit hurt, but he consented. With a heavy and defeated sigh, he did exactly what his sibling asked him and walked away. Thor was unable to comprehend why his younger brother insisted in pushing him away every time. And decided he would get to the bottom of this mystery tonight.

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><p><strong>AN**

**Amora and Sif are portrayed as Loki's and Thor's love interests in the animation movie "Tales of Asgard", to which I based myself for this chapter. You could say that quite some time has passed between the events in "Tales of Asgard" and my Fanfic Story line. I believe in "Tales of Asgard" Thor would be 17 years old, while Loki would be 15 in our counting (no idea how old they are according to Asgardian counting, I imagine, several centuries). In my storyline plot, the guys are currently Thor 19 years old and Loki 17.**

**So, what do you think about this story up so far? Have I suceeded intringing you?**

**Please share your thoughts and review :)**


	3. Conflicted

**Chapter 3:** Conflicted

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><p>Diner was quiet. None of the young males dared to utter one single word. The tension was unpleasant, nothing compared to the carefreeness they had shared during the afternoon. After dinner, Loki spread a broad blanket on the ground and laid on it. Despite the night being chilly and his hair still being wet, he didn't put on a cover. Thor looked at his brother's lying figure and shuddered when a chilly wind crossed his body.<p>

"Mind if I join you?" Thor asked almost fearing Loki would shout at him again.

"Sure." Loki said. He was lying on his side with his back to Thor.

The older brother laid down next to the teenager and covered both of them with a blanket. They had slept like this since children every time they camped somewhere. Thor suddenly felt nostalgic for the days when they were little. When they were inseparable. Where Thor went, Loki was sure to be somewhere nearby. Back then, days were too short for the little princes that played all kind of adventures in the vast gardens of Asgard. But as the boys hit adolescence, they grew more and more apart within the years.

Thor walked the path of the warrior, often to be found training in the arena or fighting in the battlefields of the other eight realms. He became the popular prince, cherished and admired by the people of Asgard. Loki, on the other side, seemed to seek more and more solitude by isolating himself. He was the quiet one, but when he spoke his words were witty and often poisonous. He was usually to be found in the library lost in the old texts of large books; or in secluded parts of Asgard's palace, where he would train his magic peacefully.

The blond prince sighed a bit sadly. He needed to know what had changed. Why Loki was acting so distant and even hostile.

"Something troubles you, brother?"

"No Thor, just go to sleep." Loki suppressed a groan of irritation. It annoyed him that his brother kept insisting while he desired not to talk. The hard cold forest floor was far from being comfortable, making him even more cross.

"How can I sleep when you are displeased with me?"

"I am not displeased with you! I'm just not the outdoors type. Unlike you, I don't enjoy this petty kind of excursions."

Thor nodded silently, even though he knew his brother could not see him. The blonde prince was lying on his back, his eyes contemplating the shiny sparkles against the dark abode. He could feel his younger brother's back against his arm. He closed his eyes for moments, relishing the warmth his sibling's body emanated.

"Yet, it's rather nice being here, together. You and me. When was the last time we were actually alone, Loki?" Thor wondered, his eyes greeting the stars again.

"I don't know. Feels like ages." Loki said with a regretful sigh and was surprised for feeling a knot growing in his throat. "You're always away in expeditions with _your_ friends."

"They're your friends too."

"No, they're not. They are yours. They always were."

"That's not true."

"Is it not?"

Thor fell silent for moments and considered his brother's interrogation. It was true that Sif and the Warriors Three often teased Loki or complained about his mischiefs behind his back. He always thought this kind of behavior to be harmless and innocent. But now he was wondering to what point there existed hostility between Loki and the others. To what point their friend's remarks about the raven-haired prince actually hurt him. Above all he wondered what happened during these years for his brother to stop confining him his troubles, his opinions, his thoughts. The blond prince realized with regret, he had lost track of his little brother's torments for a long while already.

He had to admit he did spend the majority of his time with his friends. He particularly recalled the most recent commemorative banquet, when Fandral and Volstag were praising his combating skills with lots of beer, company of girls and loud laughter. Thor remembered seeing Loki often staring blankly at him that evening. He recollected he couldn't quite read the expression his pale features bore. And when he would make eye contact with the teenager, Loki would smile back, although his smile never truly reached his eyes. Suddenly, a dreadful thought crossed his mind.

"Are you envious?"

"Envious of _what_?"

"Of me."

Thor's question was free from any kind of accusation or disapproval. It was a simple question, but one that needed answer. Loki let out an impatient sigh and turned around so he could face Thor. The elder brother was surprised to see an unfamiliar darkened glint in his sibling's eyes.

"Yes."

There was a pause. A moment of silence. When both siblings stared into the depths of each other's eyes.

"Why?"

Loki kept his gaze on his brother a short while until he broke it, so he too could lay on his back and rest his eyes on the stars.

"You are everything I am not."

"Loki…" But the raven-haired boy cut Thor's words.

"Well, it's true! Y-You are the mighty warrior, the prince of strength, Asgard's symbol of fortitude while I am… me!" Loki angrily spat, his right arm gesticulating in the air.

Thor shifted to his side so he was bending slightly over Loki. He could sense the younger prince wasn't enjoying the closeness, his personal space being invaded like this. Yet, he did not move an inch.

"You may lack some brawn, little brother, but you too fight well. You are agile and fast. Those are assets that can be as dangerous as brutal force. Besides, your strength resides on your intellect and magical powers. You carry knowledge enough to envy some of Asgard's highest scholars."

"Well, father doesn't seem to think like that." The younger prince spoke in a defeated tone.

_So that is what this is all about_. Thor realized. Loki's yearning in being recognized by father. The blond prince was worried with his little brother. Loki and father had now discussions almost every day, the youngest son speaking often defiant words and disobeying the All Father when it suited him. It was only natural Odin would reprehend his rebellious son.

"Father is proud of you, Loki."

"Is he truly, Thor?" Loki questioned, his voice stained with anger and hurt. His green eyes were on Thor's, reflecting the inner turmoil he was suffering. "Because sometimes I have the feeling he despises me. There is nothing I can do that is right in his eyes!"

"Father loves you." The blonde prince reassured, but Loki made a scornful sound, obviously not agreeing with his brother.

"Well, he doesn't particularly esteem me for choosing magic above combat. Let's face it, Thor. You are the son that embodies all the values he praises. And he's not the only one to think so. The people of Asgard adore you! Mighty Thor, the great warrior, wielder of thunder, protector of the nine realms. … Argh! It all makes me want to hate you!"

The last words had come out involuntarily. Realizing what he had just said, Loki quickly shut his mouth. He was shocked, embarrassed and guilty. He was unable to face his brother's gaze, so he closed his eyes and only opened them when he had turned his head to the side. There was no way he could look into Thor's bright eyes right now. He was sure he would find hurt and pity in them. And both were the last things he wanted to see in his brother's eyes. He inhaled deeply and sought to calm down before he would carry on. After all, his sibling wasn't talking, which meant he was giving him the space he needed, the chance to express his worries, to confine him like he so often did, a long time ago.

"People don't like me, Thor." Loki continued in a quieter tone, his words being mere whispers. He finally had the courage to look into his older brother's eyes. "I sometimes hear their murmurs echo in the walls of Asgard. They don't like me because I speak out my thoughts. Because I don't linger in trivialities such as war, food and partying. They call me the weaver of lies and tricks. " Loki cut his own words as the pain seemed to want to pierce his heart. He exhaled a deep sigh. "I am nothing what is expected from an Asgardian prince. S-Sometimes I just feel like I don't belong in Asgard."

"You are far from the truth." Thor quickly said, feeling increasingly concerned for his little brother's depressive self-image.

"Am I Thor? Am I really?"

"I am proud of you. I love you just the way you are. Surely that must mean something to you, little brother?"

Loki chuckled at his older brother's words and smiled affectionately at him. It was funny how Thor still managed to cheer him up, even in those days when dark and depressive thoughts wanted to envelope and swallow him completely. He looked up at the sapphire blue orbs staring back at him and gulped. There was that strange warmth growing up in his chest again. The one he's been sensing lately every time he saw or thought about Thor.

This new-found feeling troubled Loki greatly. It confused him. He yearned desperately for his brother's company in an unhealthy manner. In an obsessive manner. He craved to be with Thor at all times. He was hungry for his unconditional attention and affection. His mind was constantly whirling around his brother. Whether it was a positive or negative thought, it did not matter, because Thor seemed to be the only thing Loki could think about nowadays. Studying magic, reading, concentrating on whatsoever was becoming increasingly difficult because the image of his smiling sibling would simply pop up uninvitingly in his mind.

It scared Loki to no boundaries. The raven-haired prince knew whatever he was feeling for his brother, it was unnatural. It was wrong. So he figured out if he avoided Thor, this crazy feeling would eventually fade away. Loki would quickly find himself wronged. The more he evaded his brother, the more he missed him and longed being with him. But when he was with Thor, his body tingled and his heart ached knowing his brother loved him, but not in the same way he did. Loki would grow mad when his sibling gave attention to others, mainly Sif and nurtured a dangerous hatred for the maiden warrior. The jealously and frustration hurt so badly, he would take it all out in Thor, wanting him to suffer as much as he did. But when Loki succeeded, the ache in his heart only grew worse. It had been a maddening dizzy spiral, going on for weeks already. Loki could not get out of it. I was like being stuck in moving sands and he was hopelessly sinking faster and quicker in them. The fact his brother insisted in searching his company, always being kind around him, always being patient and forgiving, looking stunning, giving him that gorgeous smile, only aggravated things for the raven-haired teenager.

Loki wanted to break the hypnotizing gaze. Thor's piercing stare was making him feel uncomfortable. His heartbeat was already speeding up in an unhealthy rate. The only thing he was glad for, was that it was too dark to note his cheeks were burning red. He almost flinched when Thor gently rested his large hand on the side of his neck with a tender smile. His typical way of showing affection to his youngest sibling. Loki smiled involuntarily, this gesture always made him feel protected, cared and wanted.

Wanted.

Loki's eyes widened as he quickly reminded himself he wasn't having the proper kind of thoughts about his brother right now. The same disturbingly erotic fantasies that have been filling his mind in sleepless nights, making him feel both restless and disgusted by himself, were now invading his mind. Loki tried to vanquish these thoughts away. He knew they were wrong to all extends. But he couldn't help it. They were involuntary, unwilling and persecuted him with no mercy.

Loki's muscles tensed ever so slightly when he attempted to turn around again and lay with his back to Thor, guarded from his gaze. But the blond Asgardian anticipated his move and placed his other hand on Loki's waist, preventing him from shifting. The dark-haired teenager tensed completely and stared bewildered at his brother, the weight and warmth of his hand resting against his hip was making him heat up.

"Thor?" Loki asked hesitant and the eldest sibling's smile grew larger but also softer.

The raven-haired prince felt his whole body temperature increase. He was sure he was already sweating from nerves, fear and sickening expectation. All his muscles contracted and his heart started to pound madly when Thor's face came closer to his. Loki wanted to buck away, he wanted to whisper Thor to stop, but he had lost command over his own body. He was paralyzed. And so, his widened green eyes saw his brother close the small distance between their faces, until their lips met.

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><p><strong>Oh my... <strong>

**Feelings, so many feelings...What are yours about this chapter?**

**I would like to know ;)**

**Please review **


	4. Only tonight

**Chapter 4:** Only tonight

Loki stopped breathing. The air was stuck in his lungs. His heart was pounding so fast, he could hear it bang in his ears. He was sure it would soon explode. He could feel his cheeks glow and his chest warm up. It was a small tender kiss. The ghost of the touch of lips on lips. The sweetest of all caresses. And Loki was very well aware this was not a brotherly caress, but one only shared by lovers.

"W-What are you doing?" Loki asked confused.

He knew his brother loved him, but not like this, right? He was sure he was the only one having erratic thoughts about his sibling. Until now at least. Both fear and hope filled his heart at the thought this could be mutual.

Thor smiled with a soft chuckle and his lips brushed the younger prince's again. It felt good, incredibly good and this time Loki pressed his lips against his brother's. Thor gently pushed his sibling's body closer to his, so they were closely pressed against each other. He pecked Loki's lips several times until he desired more. So he moved his tongue and touched the youngest prince's lower lip. The bold move startled Loki, reminding him of the incestuous nature this kiss had. He broke it and pushed Thor a bit in panic.

"This is wrong!" Loki gasped horrified at his desires. At his brother's desires. "It's wrong!"

"Tell me this is not what you want and I'll stop." Thor whispered.

Loki was sure he had lost all color of his face. He could lie, but his brother would know. He already knew. His brains told him this was wrong. This was a crime. An unforgivable sin. But he wanted this so much, like nothing he ever wanted before. His whole body was tingling from anticipation. So he said nothing and resisted not when Thor kissed him again. He resisted not when his brother shifted to lay on top of him, when he brushed his fingers in his damp hair, when he licked under his jaw line. To all this Loki resisted not and instead he released labored gasps. It felt good. It felt great. But it was forbidden.

"Only once then." Loki shakily whispered in his brother's ear as the blonde planted soft kisses on his neck. "Only tonight."

Thor did not answer. He did not at his brother's face. He halted with the caresses for only a few seconds, like if he was thinking about it. About Loki's illicit proposal. And then he restarted where he had stopped. He kissed and licked a line from Loki's neck to his earlobe. The younger prince's breathing was fast and arduous. Once in a while a faint moan escaped his young lips. He barely moved. His arms laid on the sides, his fingers grasping the ground under him. Loki was inexperienced, all these sensations being new to him. He did not resist but he did not cooperate either.

"Nervous, brother?" Thor asked in between small but enticing kisses.

"I-I…yes. You know I never did this before." Loki admitted with a shaky breath. Thor cupped his younger sibling's face and kissed his soft lips tenderly.

"I'll go easy on you."

"W-What do I do?"

"You don't need to do anything. Just go with the flow."

Thor gave another couple reassuring kisses on the younger prince's lips and sat back a bit, barely touching his brother's lap. He smiled sweetly at his younger sibling's face. Loki looked both frightened and brave. Thor had suspected his younger brother desired him. He had noticed the way the raven-haired prince gave him fleeting looks when they were walking in the halls of Asgard's palace or during the family's private suppers. Fleeting looks he interpreted as longing. Yet, he had always chosen to ignore them, believing it was nothing but the product of his wild imagination. Of his own unnatural desires.

But today's events changed his perspective. During the silent diner, Thor had contemplated Loki's absurdly contradictorily behavior during the day. He had easily shifted from carefree to irate. The look in his eyes had sometimes been expectant, sometimes filled with longing and hurt. Other times he concealed his face, acting suddenly shy and awkward. The blond prince had only two possible explanations. Or Loki's hormones were completely frenzied or his brother's feelings for him had changed over time. Thor had wished for the latter and, although he was now aware they confused his sibling, he had hope. Because his feelings for his younger brother had changed drastically during the past half year.

Thor always had adored Loki. That was something undeniable. As children, he always had the need to protect the smaller prince. Later, admiration was added to his protective instincts. Loki was growing up quickly in both intellect and height. He admired Loki's eloquent speech and loved listening to his calm but colorful voice while he talked about old kings, historical episodes and legendary heroes. Loki always had been the clever one of the two, but the last years his intelligence had stood out, making Thor both proud and humble for his brother's accumulated knowledge.

For the past half year, the blond prince had also been experiencing a new kind of feeling towards Loki. It was a kind of attraction he quickly realized was more than just fraternal. Thor had not been oblivious to how his brother was nearing adulthood. His face complexions were losing the childish chubbiness and were becoming pointier with well-defined features. His body, although slender, was growing elegant and gracious. Loki was growing up into a young handsome man. A beautiful one from which Thor could not take his eyes from. It all culminated to one great emotion.

"I love you, brother." Thor confessed.

Loki opened his mouth but shut it right away. He did want to speak out the same words, oh so desperately, but they died in his mouth. He gave a pained look when he saw disappointment and hurt fill the blond warrior's eyes. The look lasted mere seconds and was immediately hidden behind a wounded smile. The dark-haired prince had never felt guiltier.

"Thor…"

"It's okay. No need to say anything, Loki." Thor whispered while he planted a soft kiss on his brother's lips.

It was another of Thor's attempts in reassuring his troubled sibling. Loki smiled. A nervous one. He closed his eyes as the blond prince's tongue begged once again to enter his mouth. Hesitantly, Loki finally gave in and a small moan escaped his throat when the warm wet tongue entered his mouth and met his. They kissed for a long while, lingering in the sweet sensations, savoring the taste of tenderness and desire. Loki finally dared to move his hands, resting them on the eldest brother's back, caressing it in slow and gentle strokes.

After a while, Thor had to break the kiss to grasp for some air. He looked down at his brother just in time to watch him slowly open his eyes and read the reminiscence of pleasure still in them. He grinned proud of being able to please his young sibling in these new ways and traced soft kisses down the teenager's neck. He started unbuttoning Loki's coat. He noticed how tense the raven-haired boy became while he slowly undressed him.

"If you wish me to stop, do tell me, brother." He whispered before planting a kiss on Loki's collarbone.

"I do not wish you to stop."

Thor smiled relieved. He opened the coat completely and removed it, revealing the thin shirt that was tightly adjusted to Loki's pale skin. He could envision the body hidden under the material, the nipples, the subtle muscles, Loki's flat belly. The boy was so tense. So nervous. So scared. Thor sensed the small flinch when he slip his hand under the shirt, caressing his brother's silky skin. He could hear the younger prince's breathing become more strenuous, when his lips met his belly, traced up kisses while the shirt was being pulled up. A surprised moan escaped when Thor's lips enveloped one of his nipples.

Loki shut his eyes, while his fingers pressed against his brother's back. He had dreamed of this for a while already. In his mind, Thor had touched him a thousand times. But the dreams were nothing compared to reality. The real sensations were wild and crude. He couldn't understand how the faintest touch of Thor's lips against his skin could send such vibes of pleasure throughout his whole body, like small electrifying shocks. He couldn't comprehend how his heart rate kept increasing, how his body temperature raised, how every inch of his skin had become hypersensitive to his brother's touch. Loki understood nothing of his bodily reactions, impulses and needs. But he didn't really care. Because it all felt really good.

Thor disposed of Loki's shirt too. He carefully placed his hands behind his brother's bare back and pushed him closer to him. The blond Asgardian ravished Loki's skin with soft kisses, tasty licks and teasing nibbles. He grinned each time Loki would release a surprised moan, sounding almost like a small complaining yell. He could feel the boy's fingers grasp tightly his back, he too pressing their bodies closer together. The younger prince was becoming restless and fidgety. An involuntary yelp escaped his lips when Thor pushed his pants down his legs. The elder sibling bent over to see Loki's face and smirked.

"You're hard, brother." He said while his hand gently traced the growing genital hidden under the underwear's material. Loki shuddered with an afflictive moan. He was so jittery that he slapped his brother's hand away, when the smug words were spoken. Thor stared surprised at his sibling.

"And you're still fully dressed!" Loki accused in a complaining tone for his brother's relieve and amusement."

"You wish to see me naked, little brother?" Thor asked teasingly and Loki felt his cheeks glow from angry embarrassment. The blonde prince barked a laughter at Loki's angered expression.

"Well, it's not really fair, is it?" Loki murmured upset and Thor was sure his brother had never looked this adorable before.

"I guess it's not." The blond Asgardian agreed, while he removed his armor. Soon he had disposed his hauberk and grinned at his brother. He was fully aware of his manhood's beauty.

"Don't mock me." Loki whispered. He had meant to speak in a scolding manner, but ended up sounding vulnerable. He held his breath, feeling scared for the consequences of his exposure but sighed relieved with his brother's reply.

"I would never dream of." Thor sincerely said.

It was rare the occasion Loki would throw his defenses away and open up like he was doing right now. Thor leaned over and kissed his brother affectingly. He imagined how tonight must be a predicament for his sibling. He was after all exploring his sexuality in the most of unconventional ways. At least, the blond prince had lost his virginity with a non-relative female. He could only imagine how Loki perceived their present conduct as wrong if not abominable. But the teenager was clearly choosing to push his worrisome thoughts this time away, discarding his admirable prudence and instead following his heart blindly. So Thor decided he would do everything to make his brother feel comfortable and show him how much he venerated him.

He gently pressed his chest against his brother's. He continued kissing tenderly, although passion was feeding itself on it. His hands caressed Loki's body like if he was priceless and delicate. He responded to the teenager's reactions quickly learning what relaxed, excited and frightened him. Thor could feel their erections grow, but didn't want to hurry things up for his brother. Their hips started moving slowly at their own accord. It was only when Loki's fingers slip under his pants with a soft moan that Thor decided to remove them. He didn't take his eyes away from his sibling's while he undressed himself and could read the lust and nervous anticipation in the teenager's eyes.

He laid down again on top of Loki, both emitting muffed moans as they kissed. They were both practically naked now, their underwear being the only piece of clothing still on. The kisses were becoming more and more passionate and Loki was becoming more responsive at Thor's touches and advances. The elder sibling moved his erection against his brother's, increasing the friction, relishing Loki's restless meowing. Thor's fingers slip under his brother's underwear, causing a wince and a louder moan. The raven-haired prince kissed more passionately and Thor continued building up the excitement between both bodies. His hands gently enveloped Loki's erection, causing another wince and a startled moan.

"Is this okay?" Thor asked as his fingers encircled his sibling's growing genital and carefully rubbed it up and down.

"Ah yes! Shit, Thor, feels good!" The younger prince confessed with a shaky breath, while his eyes rolled back.

Thor smiled and watched fascinated as Loki pushed his head back, bit his under lip to release it just afterwards when a pained moan escaped, the mark of his teeth leaving the lip red and swollen. The blonde warrior became curious and wondered if he would be able to drive his brother insane with pleasure in the same manner Sif had once done with him. He thus released his brother's erection from the underwear and lowered himself down to kiss the warm hardness of the cock's head. Thor heard the surprised satisfied gasp and felt more confident to advance in his indulging. His tongue licked the head and its underline, teasing Loki with torturous pleasure, before Thor took the full length into his mouth. Loki became increasingly restless. The treatment his older brother was giving him felt thousands times better than when he silently released his body's tension during lonely nights. Thor moved the hardened length inside his cheeks and throat, encouraged by the gentle meowing, moaning and labored gasps Loki was emitting. The blond Asgardian had to force himself to concentrate in Loki's needs, as he felt himself grow harder from the responses he was getting. The younger prince started rocking his hips more wildly, eager for release, pressing his fingers on Thor's head, guiding him to stroke the fully grown cock up and down his throat. There was a satisfied cry and Loki's whole abdomen shuddered during his orgasm. Thor had been unprepared for his brother's unloading and let the semen spill out of his mouth between gasps.

"You must feel relieved now, brother. That was a lot of accumulated tension down there." Thor pointed out, seeing the quantity semen the younger prince's body expelled. Loki released a giggle for his brother's satisfaction. "Ready to take it to the next level?"

Loki was silenced for some seconds, the only sound he produced was his fastened irregular breathing. He looked up at his older brother and nodded with a timid smile. Thor leaned over to kiss his lips. Loki tasted himself in his brother's lips and thought he would go mad from how terribly wrong it was for it tasting so nastily good. Thor was marveled with the teenager's mixture of shyness and insecurity, lust and desire. He carefully disposed both their underwear, so the siblings were completely naked. The blond prince was on his knees, Loki's legs lying apart between them. His eyes lingered a while on his younger sibling's body. His index traced the line of Loki's chest and watched how the shadows played on the pale skin with the dim warm yellow light of the camp's fire. His eyes met Loki's.

"Do you trust me?" Thor asked. Although his brother had given him all the signs he wanted this, he still needed to be sure. He still needed Loki's permission. Because he knew, from this night on, things would never be the same between them.

"Yes."

Thor smiled, leaned over to meet his brother's lips again and gently laid down on his sibling's naked body. Loki's answer had been real and sincere. And Thor was going to make justice to it. While he kissed the younger prince, his hand traveled down Loki's back, waist and bottom. He sensed the anticipated gasp and his index sough his brother's entrance. There was a complaining groan and some labored gasps coming from the teenager, but he relaxed his body enough for the blond warrior to slip his finger deeper inside. Thor studied Loki's face and after a while he wet and inserted a second finger. The younger prince's brow was knitted and his facial muscles tense. But, like the first time, he relaxed again and breathed in several times. Thor wanted to make sure Loki's body was fully prepared, so he carefully inserted the third finger, this time causing a pained yell, followed by a curse. The breathing was more labored, but after moving his fingers slowly in and out, and making sure he wet the entrance enough with his saliva, Thor sensed his brother relax again. After a while, he could feel Loki's body was prepared.

"I'm going in." The blond prince warned, while he retrieved his fingers. He spread out his brother's legs ad Loki held his breath in fear and expectation. He released a painful groan, shut his eyes tight and clenched his teeth when he felt his sibling's erection stretch his body even further than the fingers had.

"Auw! Fuck!" He complained as Thor's member widened the tight gap, stretching it until the top of its head was inside.

"Are you okay?" The eldest sibling asked concerned, freezing completely, not daring to move either way. Loki released a few strenuous gasps before answering.

"I'm okay." Loki spoke in a gasp while he forced his body to relax. "I'm okay." He reassured his brother and wrapped his arms around his back, pushing him down to lay closer to him. "Don't stop." He whispered while he closed his eyes and kissed Thor's shoulder.

The blond prince could sense his younger brother's breathing stabilize and carefully moved a bit further inside. Loki emitted a small protesting sound and his fingers dug deeper in Thor's back. The blond warrior continued to slowly shove his erection inside till his erection was completely covered by Loki's warmness. It was taking all of his self-control not to hurt his sibling. Loki's untouched walls were tight and contracted as consequence of the initial painful feeling, only to stimulate Thor's own urges. He listened closely to Loki's breathing, focusing in the way his brother's body reacted while he slowly moved a bit out. After a while, Thor was comfortable enough to thrust more rhythmically in and out. Loki widened his legs, helping his brother's erection to slide better inside his body and moaned softly from the sensation that became increasingly better.

After the initial awkward moments, both siblings grew more at ease in their moves, interacting delightfully with each other, searching for the things that pleasured the other. Soon, Loki was moving his hips along with Thor's, accompanying their synchronic forbidden dance. They kissed a lot, passionately and tenderly, their hands traveling their young skins, tracing the contours of their bodies. Moans of pleasure were switched, going from soft and gentle to powerful and passionate. As the desire increased, their bodies changed speeds, going from very slow to erratically frenetic. Thor couldn't take his eyes away from Loki, marvelously hypnotized with his beauty, with his sensual movements, with his contented expressions.

When their bodies neared their climaxes Loki started acting the more restless. The physical pleasure was stirring up his for too long bottled up emotions. Sentiments he had been suppressing for weeks now were rising like boiling water and begging to be spilled out. His moans increased as Thor kept hitting an extremely sensitive part of his body, making his body shudder in pleasure and his heart bleed from emotion. He couldn't hold back his tears anymore. The heat in his body became unbearable and Thor touched in ways that drove him insanely happy and wildly desperate at the same time. The blond prince saw the tears and kissed them while he whispered his brother's name over and over like a mantra.

"Brother…" Loki whispered desperately between his breath intakes. The pleasure was becoming unbearable. He had stopped moving, being unable to accompany his brother's fast speed. "Ah, Brother…" Loki shut his eyes tightly, more tears slipping down his face while he listened to his sibling's guttural grunts above his own moans. "Brother!" The teenager yelled, while a strange torturous pleasurable sensation begged to be released. "I love you!" He moaned while his fingers dug in his brother's skin mercilessly. He felt his inside be ruthlessly banged, hitting his sensible spot over and over again, stopping him from breathing. His eyes opened wide as an unimaginable wave of sublime pleasure washed over his whole body, emptying his mind from any thought. "I love you so much!"

Loki buried his forehead against Thor's shoulder, grasped to his brother's back tightly while tears cascaded down his face. He savored the last aggressive pounding and listened to Thor's uncontrollable grunt as he too, reached his climax. The siblings remained quiet for a long while, breathing fast, relishing the afterglow. Loki released a shaky breath while his tears dried out.

"You're okay, Loki?" Thor asked concerned. He wiped the last tear drops away from his brother's cheeks. "I wasn't too hard on you, was I?" He asked unsure, afraid the tears were the result of his aggressive pounding during the last minutes.

"No. You were perfect." The raven-haired prince admitted with a soft smile.

Thor smiled widely and gently pecked his brother's lips. He slid to the side, but his arms never unwrapped themselves from Loki's warm back, so his brother was forced to move along and remain close to his body. More kisses were shared and the two young males laid intertwined on each other. The blond prince could hear by his brother's breathing he was falling asleep and smiled affectionately. Never in his life had he seen his brother's expressions so soft and yet so intense as tonight. Loki's confession still burned in his ears and filled his heart with happiness. And he wondered. Would they resist each other after this? Would this truly be a one-time event? Thor was sure he would have his answers in the morrow.

* * *

><p><strong>I will admit it...I definitly enjoyed writting this marvellous sinful chapter<strong>

**Did you enjoy reading it?**

**What do you think will happen next?**

**I am curious to you point of view**

**Please review :)**


	5. Our Secret

**Chapter 4: Our Secret**

Loki woke up with the soft feeling of lips gently pecking his shoulder and neck, while a warm hand held his. He released a soft contented sigh as he lazily woke up.

"Good morning, sleepy." Thor whispered in his younger brother's ear when Loki leisurely stretched himself, still keeping his eyes shut. He turned around and opened his eyes, sleep still very present in them.

"Good morning to you too." Loki whispered with a hoarse voice. Thor smiled widely at the sound, adoring it immensely. He gave soft kisses on his sibling's lips while he enveloped the raven-haired prince's body and turned him completely over, so Loki laid on top of him, causing amused giggles by the younger sibling. The blond warrior kissed his brother's neck and shoulder, making both males heart's rate speed up. "Thor, we agreed to do this only once." Loki spoke with a slightly shaky voice, as his body longed for his brother's already, but his mind warned him again about dangers.

"I do not remember agreeing to it." Thor whispered and looked at his younger sibling's face. He saw the fear and doubt written all over Loki's face, but the hunger was also already present in his eyes.

"Thor, we can be seen!" Loki spoke out his greatest fear.

"Who could possibly see us?"

"Heimdall of course! Father perhaps, even mother."

"You think too much."

"Somebody has to, since you don't!"

"Don't you have magic that can conceal us?"

"Yes, but it requires quite some concentration and I cannot really focus while we … you know." Loki explained embarrassed while he blushed terribly.

"Look, Heimdall would never interfere in our personal matters. As for father and mother, they are not here and they cannot see us. We are hidden. From them, from the world. It's only you and me." Thor whispered and softly pecked Loki's neck making him tremble from desire. "Don't you want this?"

"Yes, I do, but…"

"Shhhh. You worry too much. Live the moment." Thor shushed while his tongue traced the line from Loki's ear to his collarbone, making his sibling gasp from uncontrollable pleasure.

"You're so reckless." Loki whispered but sounded nothing nearby upset. He was already surrendering to his brother's touch as he allowed himself to be laid gently on his back again and Thor started caressing his naked body with his lips, tongue and fingertips. "You'll be the end of us."

"At least we'll have some fun before that." Thor said with a teasing smile, while he looked at his sibling's face. Loki released an amused chuckle and the older Asgardian knew he had won.

He kissed Loki's lips eagerly and his tongue was welcomed in his younger brother's warmness. He relished the metallic flavor and the soft caresses they both were sharing. Making love the second time went much easier, all the awkwardness, shyness and fears from the previous night having dissipated completely. Loki allowed himself to surrender completely in the game of love, collaborating eagerly with his brother's advances and moves. It was passionate as it was tender. The siblings explored they bodies and senses with more ease and comfort. They kissed, caressed and giggled while they made love. If was like if nothing else existed in this world. Only them and the love they felt for each other.

…

"How are the boys doing?" Odin asked after he entered the golden dome and greeted politely his trustful sentry. Heimdall turned to the Allfather with his typical impassive expression.

"The princes are well, my lord. They have found River Ferirama." The sentinel guard spoke.

"Good, then they are on the right path." Odin said contented. He put his hands together behind his back and paced a bit inside the dome. "And tell me, are they bonding?" Heimdall took a glimpse at Forest Aelhill and quickly found the princes.

"Yes, my lord. The princes are bonding."

"Good, good. Do inform me if something out of the ordinary happens. Those boys have a special talent in getting themselves into trouble when they are together."

"I will, Allfather."

"Until tomorrow then, Heimdall."

At this, Odin left the dome and the sentry finally released the breath he had been holding. What he had seen today was the confirmation of what he had seen the previous night. It was a short glimpse, a mere second, but just long enough to see that the two princes were having intercourse. Again. He immediately evaded his gaze as he didn't wish to watch the males in their most intimate moments together. He was not one to judge, but the nature of this incestuous relation worried him greatly. He would not tell Odin or Frigga. He would not tell anybody, afraid of the consequences and punishment the royal siblings would have for their misconduct, for the nature of this forbidden relationship. The sentry watched the universe, its stars and planets and many worlds. He knew in a few days, one of the princes would pay him a visit.

…

Time flew fast in Aelhill's forest. The brothers spent their days chatting, playing silly games and defying each other's combating skills. Usually they ended up having hot discussions in which Loki would go wild with Thor's haughtiness and ignorance. It would take a while for the blond Asgardian to finally manage to calm down his infuriated sibling, speaking him sweet words and indulging him with tender caresses. They would end up making love and relish the sweetness and the closeness it offered them. On the third day they finally reached the Ael Mountain's top and found a field full of Tear of Snow flowers. It was quite a sight, the hundreds of white petals glistering like thousands of diamantes, covering the ground like a white sparkly carpet. Loki bended slightly over and carefully picked up one of the flowers. He stood up, holding the Tear of Snow on both hands.

"It's so beautiful." Loki said absolutely fascinated. This was the first time he saw the Tear of Snow so close by. "So perfect." He said while he turned to his brother with a rare innocent smile. He noticed Thor was staring strangely at him. "What's the matter?"

"I wish we could stay here forever. You and me." The blond warrior said with a sad smile.

"So do I. But we both know that's not possible." Loki wisely stated. "Look on the bright side. It will take us at least another two days to get out of the forest." He said and his smile grew to his typical mischievous grin, causing a hearty laughter by Thor.

…

"Well, it seems like our honeymoon has ended." Loki spoke as the two princes reached the forest edge in the end of the fifth day. He had meant to say it as a joke but cursed his stained voice that betrayed him in this kind of moments. Thor looked at him and smiled sadly. Loki grimaced slightly when he met his brother's sorrowful eyes and redirected his gaze on the road ahead of him. "What happens now?"

"We go on with our lives, I guess." Thor said while he shook his shoulders. "I'll return to Sif, you'll return to Amora, take the next step with her."

"You are recommending me to have sex with Amora?" Loki asked, sounding clearly shocked. He wasn't sure he wanted that and he wasn't all too happy with the idea of his brother wanting to make love with Sif. "You are okay with that?"

"I think it's enriching to have more than one sex partner." Thor casually said with a shake of his shoulders. "It's only physical anyway."

"So _this_ was only physical?!" Loki bitterly questioned, a sting hitting his heart.

"I didn't say that."

"You just said that!"

"I didn't mean about you. I meant about _them_." Thor said like if it was the most obvious thing in the world and Loki stared at him with an expression of incredibility, realizing his brother's careless words were easily leading to a horrible misunderstanding.

"Do you love Sif?"

"No, I like her. I love you!

"You really should start thinking before verbalizing your thoughts!" Loki complained while he shook his head, but feeling quite relieved. "So, what's your idea anyway? We keep up appearances, live a charade, date girls, pretend we are in love with them and stuff?"

"Yes."

"Are you mad? I like Amora, I don't want to hurt her! And I frankly don't like the idea that you're going to be fooling around with Sif and afterwards with me! I mean… It's wrong, not to mention it's too risky!

"Loki, the only way we can stay together is to let the world believe we are just brothers and each one have his own romantic life. I know it's wrong to mislead Sif and Amora, but if we don't have girlfriends, somebody is going to understand something is off, until one day we are discovered."

"In that case, we mustn't see each other again." Loki declared decided.

"How long do you think we'll resist being separated, while we see each other every day, knowing what we have and, not to mention, our chambers are right next to each other?" Thor asked while he raised his voice slightly. "How did it work for you, when you tried to push your feelings away all this time? …Now, don't give me that look!" Thor said pointing his index while Loki gave him an exasperated look, indicating he would start yelling at his older brother any second now. "You think I don't know you are conflicted about us? You think I don't know the nature of our relationship is wrong? Don't think you are the only one that dwells in doubts and fears! Because I do too. I've been thinking this through more that you'll give me credit for!" Thor saw Loki open his mouth to contest but he lifted his hand in a halting sign. "Please, brother. Let me finish." Loki gave an upset look but closed his mouth again. "Look, after what happened between us, how perfect it feels when we are together… Loki, I don't want to lose that! I don't want to lose you. And I frankly don't see any other way to go around this situation!" Loki looked at his brother in a defeated manner and sighed.

"I would prefer to put this behind us…Can't we pretend it never happened?" The raven-haired prince asked, his voice filled with fear and uncertainty.

"Then just tell me, Loki. Tell to my face you don't want to be with me, and I'll leave you alone." Thor said determinate, locking his blue gaze on Loki's. The younger sibling swallowed dry. He looked lost for moments, while fear, sorrow and desire all mingled in his heart. How badly he wanted to look hard at his brother and weave one of his clever lies. How badly he wanted to deceive himself in believing it was possible to play pretend and go on with his life like if nothing particular had happened in Aelhill's forest. But today he couldn't. Today his heart was weaker than his mind. Today truth won over lies.

"I do want to be with you! I do want so much, but I'm afraid, Thor." Loki said in a helpless manner. "It's all so wrong! We are no supposed to be in love with each other."

"And yet we are. It's not like we chose to. It just happened." Thor said in a surprisingly calm manner. He placed his hand under Loki's jawbone, touching his neck. His voice and his gesture seemed to mellow Loki down, who lingered in the touch that always made him feel so safe and valued. "Do you regret?"

"No. Not one single second." Loki confessed with a smile and then a soft chuckle escaped his lips. "It's crazy, isn't it? Everything in our relationship is wrong and yet everything in it is right."

"Says my brother the poet and philosopher." Thor joked and Loki giggled amused. The blond Asgardian took pleasure in watching that spontaneous smile. "So, what do you say? We date our girls over day and see each other during the night?" He asked. Loki stared at him awkwardly, swallowed dry and then blushed terribly. This went against every moral conduct they were raised with. If their parents were to discover, they were truly doomed. If anybody else would discover, they would be judged unjustly, considered fools and their practice obnoxious. If their relationship would ever come out in the open, they surely weren't going to have a happy ending. Yet, Loki nodded. Thor smiled. "Then it will be our secret."

…

"Why am I not surprised it's you who came." Heimdall spoke while his gaze was on the vastness of the universe. He stood with his back to the person who had just stepped into the golden dome, but knew very well who it was. Above all, why he was here.

"I wanted to thank you for your discretion. For not telling anything to father or mother." The male voice filled the dome and Heimdall turned his head to face his visitor. He nodded in recognition of the prince's gratitude and watched him coolly pace with a thoughtful look. The prince halted when he stood opposite the sentry. If he was nervous, he hid it well. "Did you watch?"

"No, my prince. I did not." Heimdall calmly said.

"But you saw."

"A brief glimpse, while I searched for your whereabouts." Heimdall honestly answered and the prince seemed satisfied with the response, since he nodded and proceeded to walk in the dome.

"Can I trust you, to keep this secret?"

"Yes, my prince." Heimdall said while he listened the sound of footsteps behind him. They stopped when the prince stood in front of the doorway, about to leave.

"In that case, I trust you will not search for me and my brother during the nights." The prince said in a confident voice and left the dome without adding a word, fully knowing the sentry would never denounce them. The sentinel guard stared at the stars, planets and galaxies with an impassive expression, while he saw at the same time the prince walk over the Bifrost. He was not one to judge, although he considered the princes' decision unwise, but above all dangerous. And for that reason alone, he would never betray them.

"Of course, Loki."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**As you probably noticed, my interpretation of Loki in these first chapters, this one in particular, is very different of the Loki from the Movies franchise (I never read the comics, so I'm basing myself 99% on the movies). This is because these events place themselves before Loki's discovery of his real parentage and his fall in the Void. I wanted to portray Loki as almost adult, but not quite yet. I hope I suceeded in finding the balance between a prematured mature teenager and a boy that still lives in some of his childhood innocence, bearing the moral standarts taught by his family (namely Frigga). **

**I only realized after writing this chapter that I switched the roles between Thor and Loki in the discussion about their "sinful" path choice. Oh dear...**

**So, what do you think about this story so far? **

**Please, do review :)**


	6. Rivals

**Chapter 6: Rivals**

The promise the two siblings sealed the day they returned from Aelhill's forest was kept unbroken for many years. During the day, they would go on with their own routine and affairs, keeping up appearances and fulfilling their roles as princes of Asgard. But at night, Loki's magic would allow him to sneak into Thor's bedroom silent and unnoticed. All the walls of "make believe" were then torn down as they surrendered to their love. They were loyal to each other and the feeling they shared grew stronger by the day. This feeling of belonging became so solid they truly believed that _nothing _could ever break them apart. They were both sure they could never exist without the other.

"Amora and I did it." Loki whispered while he laid comfortably against Thor's body. They had just made love and reached the fever of pleasure practically simultaneously. The lovers were now relishing the warmth and coziness brought by simply being together. Despite the fact it had been Thor's idea and incentive for Loki to have sex with Amora, his heart did pang and a series of unsure thoughts did fill his mind immediately.

"Really, when?" The blonde asked using his most neutral tone.

"Today, after afternoon's practice, before dinner."

"It took quite some time for you two to finally do it." The elder sibling said while he looked at the ceiling, not wanting to transpire any of the jealousy and fears that were filling his heart right now. He was after all the one that had insisted almost in a daily basis that Loki should advance in his relationship with Amora to keep up the appearances. To avoid suspicions from any party. To fool the world into believing he was truly in love with the enchantress.

"None of us was really prepared for a long while. But lately we've been…" Loki paused, as he almost said "closer". He knew it would hurt his brother and he probably would think he was having a change of heart about their relationship. So Loki decided to be careful in his choice of words"…more physical. I guess at one point it became inevitable."

"And how was it?" Thor asked, continuing to fake his casual tone, his eyes never leaving the ceiling. Loki looked at him and swallowed dry. He knew exactly how his brother felt. The dreadful insecurity. The sickening fear. The horrible nausea. He had felt it too when Thor had told him he and Sif had done it right on the day they returned from Aelhill. But he knew their love was strong enough to transcend something this trivial.

"It was… different." Loki honestly said. "The female body is quite fascinating and it feels, - I don't know, just different."

"Was it better?"

"Thor!" Loki whispered in a scolding manner and his older brother finally looked at him. "You knew this would happen." The raven-haired teenager added in a mix of compassion and annoyance.

"I know. I practically forced you onto Amora."

"You know I love you. I could break up with her any time, really! If you want, I'll break up tomorrow. I don't really care if it hurts her or what she will think of me."

"No, Loki! That would be cruel!" Thor said shocked with his brother's coldness. Not so long ago Loki had passionately claimed he didn't want to hurt Amora, so Thor couldn't understand how his little brother could change of ideas this easily and in such a short span of time. But then again, the younger prince had been demonstrating lately to have little or no concern about people's well-being, independently of them being close to him or not. It was a strange taciturn distance, a kind of general indifference that troubled Thor. Loki was friendly, kind and warm towards him and their mother, but to the rest of the world he was ice cold. However, the older sibling didn't linger too long on these thoughts. "Besides, it could become suspicious." Thor added with a nervous smile. Loki's eyebrow arched and he sat up to look better at his brother.

"Why would it become suspicious?"

"Sif broke up with me today." Thor confessed, sounding more embarrassed than hurt. Loki stared shocked. It struck him how strange it was to feel both jubilant and sorry for his older sibling at the same time.

"Why did she break up? I thought things were great between you two! She didn't discover did she?" The raven-haired prince hastily asked, the thought of their secret being unraveled swelling a feeling of panic in his chest.

"No, Loki. She has no idea." Thor said half giggling for his younger brother's distress. He too sat up and rested his hand on the side of Loki's neck. "We have been growing apart for a while, actually. I guess I'm not as good in pretending as you are. Sif accused me of being distant and uninterested."

"What a bummer… What now?" Loki asked while he shifted to sit on his brother's lap, facing him.

He was glad Thor and Sif finally broke up and was sure should they remain together for much longer, he would have done something much worse than cutting off Sif's beautiful hair. But he was also aware his brother couldn't remain single for too long. Gossips were the worst kind of poison in the Universe and the last thing they needed was that people would start questioning the throne heir's romantic interests. He caressed the blonde's chest and pecked a kiss next to his lips, waiting for this brother's answer with some expectation.

"I guess I'll have to find myself a new girlfriend." Thor said while his hands caressed Loki's back and he kissed the young sibling's neck, who gasped in enjoyment.

"Uh, something tells me Sif won't be too happy with that." Loki said half giggling while Thor planted kisses all over his collarbone until they met his own lips.

Words quickly died out and gave place to more kisses. The siblings enjoyed the feeling of touches and caresses, of passion and tenderness, like they did every night. The love between them felt so strong that they were both confident it was strong enough to defy anything and anybody. They realized, they could have as many love affairs as they wanted, no woman could ever come in between them.

…

Odin stood by the balcony and watched the warriors training in the arena. He had a _dejá vu_ when he saw Thor exercising his battle skills against Sif and the Warriors Three, while Loki sat on the public seats, immersed in one of the library's books, shifting his eyes only once in a while to the arena. It had been many years ago when the Allfather watched his sons with a concerned eye. When he sent his boys to Aelhill's Forest to search for the Tear of Snow. Not much had changed since then, and yet everything seemed to be different. Loki had reached meanwhile adulthood and Thor approached the desirable age of becoming king. The boys had bonded, fortunately, just like he had hoped. After their return, the princes became best friends and were inseparable once again. Something he was very grateful for, because his sons still gave him a lot of worries.

When Thor had started dating Sif, Odin had hoped their relationship would evolve enough to lead to marriage. The maiden had proven to be a worth warrior, leader of soldiers, with a loyal and wise character. She would have been the future's king ideal match to counterpart the qualities Thor missed. But the eldest prince's growing arrogance pushed the young woman away, who decided to break up the relationship, because she desired independence and a more mature partner. Since then, Thor entered a spiral of short-lived relationships. It was very easy for the prince of Asgard to find a young woman pleasing to the eye. Next to his title and, consequently, his power; Thor was handsome, strong and charismatic. Alas, he seemed to get bored very easily with the women he got acquaintance with. The Allfather wasn't the least happy with the gossips that went around about Thor, portraying him as the imprudent prince he was, lackeding maturity and responsibility. A boy more concentrated in enjoying the pleasures of life than preparing for his future rule.

Loki, on the other side, was becoming a dangerous rival. He still lacked popularity and charisma, but his intelligence, astuteness and knowledge in the subjects of politics and war were impressing more and more high-ranked scholars of Odin's Court. Just like his politeness and wisdom was becoming respected among the common people of Asgard, despite his general coldness. The Allfather knew Loki still ambitioned the throne. He had already been clear that Thor was the heir to the throne and not him. But Loki was stubborn and not one to give up his desires easily. Odin wondered to what point the prince was prepared to betray his brother. Because he knew his youngest son would easily betray his father.

The raven-haired prince had long outdone his rebellious phase. From one day to the other, Loki simply stopped refuting Odin. Instead, he acted too mellow, too polite and too obediently. Odin, of course, knew he was full of lies, but the worst part was that Loki clearly wanted him to know it was all just a pretend. The younger prince openly defied his father by giving him secretive mischievous looks that meant he was up to something. Looks that were only meant for the Allfather, and not even Frigga noticed them. Alas, for Odin, he had not one single tangible proof his younger son was misbehaving, just like he couldn't quite figure out what Loki was up to.

The Allfather was growing more and more concerned with Loki. His son had evolved into a young man with a cold bitter heart. Amora, who had been his first sweetheart, still suffered from their break up. Just like any young woman who had the misfortune to fall under Loki's interest. They would date and live for a while in what appeared to be an idyllic romance. Until the day the prince grew bored and would abruptly end up the relationship, without showing one bit of compassion or regret. There was a lot of gossip about him too, speaking of a brilliant mind with a cruel heart. It also worried Odin greatly that Loki had embraced his new titles such as God of Mischief, Weaver of Lies, The Deceiver and carry them around with pride.

To add to all of that, lately, Thor and Loki would get themselves in dangerously feisty fights. Odin had recently been informed about the princes' aggressive disputes, but only today did he realize how serious they were, as he finally had the chance to witness one himself.

It had happened during their private dinner, in which only the four members of the royal family were present. While they were eating quietly, Odin had sensed some kind of tension existing between the two Thor started talking about one of his successes in the battlefield, out of the blue. Odin first discarded the bragging until he realized it was all a provocation for Loki. He and Frigga had been shocked with the quantity of poison his words bore. Further from his completely uncharacteristic behavior, it was an absolute role changing between the two brothers. The raven-haired prince immediately retaliated with his clever and wicket words. The discussion escalated as the insults and accusations became more and more personal.

Battle with words was not Thor's territory so when he was unable to strike back Loki with arguments, he punched him in the face. The princes were so out of their minds and so absorbed in their own conflict, that they didn't even hear Odin and Frigga's screams and commands to stop. The fight had been highly aggressive, in which Loki was easily overpowered by the older brother. Thor only stopped when Frigga jumped in between him and Loki. Only then did he realized how badly he had beaten up his brother and quickly started begging for forgiveness, which was reluctantly accepted. The blond had offered to take his little brother to the infirmary, which was refused by the proud prince. In the end, he was escorting a very silent and hurt Loki to his room.

"I can't believe Thor just did that." Frigga confined with Odin after she ordered a guard to bring dinner to the princes' chambers. "It's not like him to speak like that, to anybody."

"Loki must have upset him with something today." Odin said with a thoughtful expression. "I guess Thor wanted Loki to taste a bit of his own poison."

"Well, that didn't go well, did it? I will talk with them tomorrow, separately." Frigga told. "This kind of behavior simply cannot be tolerated."

"I'm sure they will listen to you. They always do."

Odin said in a supportive manner while he rested his hand on his wife's shoulder. She gave it a gentle squeeze with her hand and then kissed his skin. Frigga smiled, convinced it was another silly phase her boys were in. They always had fought, since little children. And crazily enough, the more they fought, the more they seemed to love each other and their bond would be strengthened. She smiled at the thought her sons were truly peculiar.

…

"I hate you." Loki mumbled upset while Thor cleaned some blood from Loki's cheek with a damp towel.

"I'm sorry." The blond Asgardian said for the thousandth time.

"Stop apologizing, will you?" Loki said, his tone still annoyed, while he pushed the cold towel away from his face. "And stop fussing so much! I've been in much worse shape anyway."

"Yeah, but that were enemies. I hit you!"

"Like it's the first time! You always hit me, already as children."

"That was because I was clumsy and had no control over my strength! Now, I don't have control over my anger."

"You had a good reason today." Loki said giving the first smile since they left the dining room.

"Why did you kiss her in front of me, anyway?"

"I wanted to make you upset, which I succeeded, by the way."

"Why?"

"Revenge, of course."

"Revenge for what?"

"For you gloating all the time how awesome you are and how you'll be king and shit like that." Loki said in a tone which meant this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why do you want the throne so badly anyway?"

"I never wanted the throne." Loki confessed and Thor stared surprised at him. "I just want to be your equal."

"But Loki, you are my equal."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. I let you go on top all the time." Thor say with a grin and Loki failed in suppressing a chuckle.

"Don't change the subject."

"I love you. Now, let me kiss those wounds away." The blond Asgardian seductively said against Loki's ear, making him shiver. Loki smiled as he realized, even after the countless times they've been together, it still thrilled him each time.

"You cannot fix everything with kisses and sex." The raven-haired prince protested.

"Yes, I can. You get really mellow from it." Thor said while he planted kisses on the small cuts and bruises. Loki closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations and cursing his brother for knowing him this well. His eyes shot open when there was a knock on the door. After years of sneaking into Thor's room, he was still jumpy every time he heard a sound. He watched silent as his sibling stood up and walked to the door.

"Who is it?"

"The All Mother sent me with your dinner, my lord." A male voice was heard from behind the door and Thor opened it smiling widely.

"Do thank her for me." He said while he received the two plates. "Oh, and please tell her Loki is fine." The guard nodded with a small bow and walked away. Thor closed the door and placed the plates on the table. He turned to Loki. "So, do you prefer to eat before or after we make love?" Loki giggled amused at the question. He leaned a bit back and made a sign with his index for Thor to come to join him. The god of thunder accepted the invitation promptly, practically jumping on his sibling and invade his mouth, causing amused laugher by both of them. He shifted so he could lie fully on top of Loki, his grip around his brother strong and demanding.

"Auch! Fuck, you're such a brute!" Loki complained when his brother accidently pressed against a bruised part of his body. The blond warrior apologized and then undressed this brother's shirt so he could see the bruises on his skin. He gently touched the swollen areas with his fingertips, causing a hiss from his brother. He kissed after apologizing again (making Loki roll his eyes) and he could sense his sibling relax under his touch. "Just be careful, will you?"

"I'll be. I promise." Thor whispered and pecked Loki's lips.

They kissed tenderly and moved slowly because of Loki's bruises. Confessions and declarations of love were whispered, a mantra that was repeated night after night. The intensity of their love seemed never to diminish. The more they were together, the more they needed and craved to be together. In the bedroom there existed no lies, no facades, no make believe. The bedroom was their world, their safe haven, the place where they didn't need to make other's believe they were just brothers and nothing more. The bedroom was the only place they were true to each other and to their feelings, embracing them without any perjury or regret.

…

"Why do we keep fighting all the time?" Thor wondered out loud during their afterglow, their legs and arms still wrapped around each other. Loki shifted to rest his chest on the blonde's torso, so he could look at his face while his fingers played with the golden locks.

"I guess that's what happens when poles collide." The raven-haired prince whispered with a mischievous grin before pecking his brother's lips. Thor released a small chuckle and his lips remained smiling while Loki laid his head on top of his heart. The younger prince closed his eyes for a while enjoying the closeness, listening to his sibling's strong and steady heartbeat. "I want to grow old with you." Loki confessed, his voice pleading and almost scared. Thor smiled silently and placed a kiss on his brother's head.

"We will grow old together, little brother. That I promise you."

"What if one of us dies first?"

"I won't let that happen."

"Can you defy death?"´

"For you, I'll defy anything."

Although Loki knew it was a promise impossible to keep, he somehow believed his brother. The words smoothed his mind and the raven-haired prince fell asleep with a sincere smile on his lips.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**"By many years" at the beginning of this chapter, I mean, according to the Asgardian time counting. Loki is around 19 years old and Thor around 21 years old according to Midgardian counting. Just to clarify and give you some chronological guidance.**

**So, if you are reading this story, what do you think so far? It might feel too idylic or even slow, but I promise, things will start to shake off from the next chapter...I'll say no more. No spoilers!**

**Please, don't be shy, just review :)**


	7. Dark Thoughts

**Chapter 7: Dark Thoughts**

Odin declared in a private assembly consisted by Frigga and the princes that in the following month he would proclaim Thor as the new king of Asgard. Needless to say the god of thunder was jubilant. He gave a cheerful scream while he jumped once, turning to face his loved ones with great joy. Odin didn't look particularly amused by his childish behavior, Frigga was commanding Thor with her eyes to restrain himself and Loki was clearly biting his tongue to stop himself from spitting out poisonous words. The Allfather would announce his decision to the Court and afterwards to the citizens of Asgard that very same evening. A lot of preparation would be needed for the coronation. Thor listened diligently as his father spoke, containing himself from fidgeting from joy, turning once in a while in his brother's direction with a wide smile. He was so blissful, he didn't even notice Loki barely managed to smile in return.

When Odin declared the assembly was over, he went to embrace his older son. Afterwards, he walked pass Loki and didn't miss the loathing glare his younger son was sending him. All he hoped was that the raven-haired prince wouldn't do anything rash. Frigga too hugged Thor afterwards and gently patted Loki's shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. The parents left, leaving the two siblings alone. Thor turned with a wide grin to his brother and Loki forced himself to give a small smile in return.

"Congratulations, brother." He icily spoke. Thor noticed the displeased tone and his grin slowly faded.

"Are you angry with me, Loki?" He asked afraid, sensing the tension around his younger sibling.

"No, Thor. It's not you I'm angry with." Loki said in a much smoother tone and Thor's shoulders relaxed while he released a soft sigh of relieve. "I'm happy for you. I truly am. This is what you always wanted, after all."

"Oh, I love you so much, brother!" Thor happily said while he hugged Loki, lifting him in the air and pressing his body so tightly that the younger sibling couldn't breathe for a few seconds. The younger prince laughed a bit awkwardly after Thor landed him back on the floor.

"Now, go tell your friends." Loki said with a shy smile.

"Are you not coming?"

"I'll catch up with you later on."

"Okay. But don't take too long. We must celebrate!" Thor enthusiastically said, to which Loki nodded with a kind smile.

Thor left the room and Loki was finally alone. His smile quickly died out and was instead replaced by an ugly scorn of pure hatred. He wanted to scream, but knew he would be heard. So instead he restrained himself for five seconds and then, suddenly, released a magical energy blast, knocking down the chairs and some other objects. He panted as he repressed the anger that was building in his chest. Odin had chosen Thor to be king. Of course he had chosen that oaf instead of him! Thor was after all his favorite, the apple of his eye. Odin always praised everything thing Thor did, every single achievement, every stupid victory. It was amazing how the Allfather had allowed Thor to develop an insupportably arrogant discourse and behavior, stimulating it instead of dampening. Loki clenched his teeth as he tried to understand what he had done wrong. He was intelligent, polite, and even obedient. All right, so he defied Odin once in a while. But every time politics were subject, it was he, not Thor, who demonstrated to have the right understanding of it. Odin even often told Thor he should take his younger brother's example and learn from him. So why chose him? Loki paced from one side of the room to the other. It made no sense at all. He was the better choice, not his oldest brother. Loki's hands were balled and became white from the pressure, his nails digging in his flesh. There was only one explanation he could think of. No matter how much he claimed to love him, Odin clearly disliked him. He always did. If only he knew why.

…

Thor wandered in the empty halls of Asgard's palace with a look of concern plastered on his face. Loki had not appeared during the afternoon to celebrate Thor's future kingship. He was absent when Odin publicly announced the news to the Court and to the people of Asgard. Loki had also missed diner, leaving a guard to warm the royal family the raven-haired prince was not feeling well. When Thor went to his brother's room, he was not there to be found. The god of thunder sighed worriedly. He had figured out Loki had lied to him. It wouldn't be the first time. He wished his brother could be truly happy for him, because all he wanted was to share his blissfulness with his youngest sibling. Yet, he knew he should have known better. Loki had confessed years ago of how envious he felt about him. Thor knew this envy was related to their father and that, despite the love and loyalty he and Loki shared, this envy kept being fueled. Thor was aware that Odin treated his sons differently, he was much stricter with Loki than with him. How could he not, when they were practically opposites? When Loki was so smart and rebellious. He wanted to find Loki let him know that Odin loved him nevertheless. Alas, Thor knew perfectly well that, when Loki didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.

…

Thor had been surprised to find Loki in the arena, training with the Warriors Three. It was seldom for the younger prince to trade his books for combat at his own initiative. The older prince made his presence clear with a kind greeting, which was enthusiastically reattributed by his friends. Loki glanced only briefly, but Thor could see the darkness in his eyes. He was clearly not pleased to see him.

"I heard you were unwell yesterday, brother. I'm glad to see you're feeling better." Thor kindly said, but his heart bounced in his chest of fear, because he could see in the manner Loki looked at his shoes and by the way he moved his jaw that he was really pissed off.

"You were sick yesterday? And I thought all this time you didn't come to the party because your pride was too wounded." Fandral cheerfully said, missing the furious glint that crossed Loki's clear eyes.

"What did you have?" Volstagg asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"It matters not. I am better now." Loki coldly said.

"In that case, you won't have a problem in having a rematch, will you?" The oldest of the warriors asked, while he lifted his axe. Loki half turned to him and his look became even colder, despite of the malicious grin he gave.

"Why not." Loki coolly answered.

Fandral and Hogun switched confused looks, both sensing the uncharacteristic dangerous iciness in the younger prince's undertone. Thor opened his mouth to protest, but before he had the chance to say anything, Loki and Volstagg engaged in a man-to-man battle. Thor watched silenced but concerned as the two danced in a combat, in which their assets and styles were very different. Volstagg had the advantage of experience and strength, while Loki had the youthful energy and speed. The young prince managed to avoid and dodge the older warrior's attacks and trick the other one into believing he was winning, for the god of mischief purposely battled more in the defensive. The moment Volstagg became overconfident and thought to claim victory, the roles quickly changed.

Loki became faster, his movements more precise and daring. Because his daggers were small sized weapons, he needed to build his way closer to Volstagg, who kept his distance safe by waving his axe in the air. The fight became more aggressive. The older warrior became the more frustrated, the temper getting the better of him, his attempts in defeating the prince becoming increasingly and annoyingly unsuccessful. Loki, on the other side, moved in a more secured and confident manner, he seemed to calculate well before attacking or defending, so he could predict and anticipate Volstagg's next move. At a certain point, the older warrior lost his coordination, becoming confused by Loki's fast movements, so he ended up attacking in a random and clumsy way, his axe hitting more and more deeply into the ground.

Loki dodged a few dangerous attacks by turning and shifting from one side to the other. When Volstagg finally let an open space, making him vulnerable to his rival, Loki kicked him fully on his belly so the warrior fell on his back from the impact. In a fast movement, Loki blocked Volstaag's movements by placing one foot on his chest, while he pointed one of his daggers on the neck, just under the chin. For several seconds, both warriors remained frozen, panting heavily and staring into each other's eyes. Loki lingered some seconds with the point of the dagger pressed the other's skin until he released it in a slow cautious movement. He stood up looking strangely dazed. In the meantime, Fandral and Hogun quickly ran to Volstagg so they could help him get up.

"Are you all right?" Fandral kindly asked, with an amused smile on his face. "Loki really got to you this time, didn't he?" He added with a chuckle. But his smile vanished when he saw the look of shock and confusion in Volstaag's face. Fandral and Hogun turned to look at Loki and read the same expression on the prince's face. Loki looked pale. His eyes shifted nervously from one to the other and then he looked at the dagger he was still holding in his hand, which was trembling slightly. He carefully kept it inside his coat, like he always did, while he turned around.

"Loki?" Thor asked concerned, sensing the unfamiliar tension in the air. Loki's head shot in his direction and the older prince saw a horrible kind of fear creep in his sibling's eyes. Without a word, the raven-haired prince started walking away, in an almost unbalanced manner. "Loki!" Thor shouted and made a short run to his brother.

"Leave me alone!" Loki yelled while he turned around abruptly. Thor could read the distress in his brother's eyes and his concern grew stronger by the second. "Please, leave me alone." Loki begged in a gasp and Thor hesitated. The younger sibling turned around again and after a few hasty paces, he ran out of the arena. The god of thunder was about to follow him, when he heard a voice behind him.

"Let him go, Thor." The blond prince turned around to face Volstagg, who stood between Fandran and Hogan. "I think the lad needs some space right now."

…

"I thought I might find you here." Thor said while he walked in his sibling's direction.

Loki sat on the top one of Asgard's palace's domes and didn't even bother to acknowledge his brother's presence. He had known it was a question of time until Thor would finally find him. In a matter of fact, he had wanted Thor to find him, probably the reason he sat where he sat. The older sibling took a place next to him and looked up to the darkening skies. The sun had set and the first stars were already shining. "That was quite a battle you had back there with Volstagg. There was a moment I actually thought you were going to kill him." Thor said in a sincere and carefree manner.

"So did I." Loki whispered and rested his chin on his knees, which were wrapped by both his arms, making him look smaller. Thor looked at his brother's face and recognized the same distress on his tensed facial muscles he had seen earlier that afternoon. He didn't really know what to say so he rested his hand on Loki's shoulder. He was shocked when his brother flinched and shifted in a brusque manner and stared at him with a terrified look.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Thor reassured, his hand still midway the air.

"But I might!" Loki almost yelled and Thor slowly backed his hand away. Loki released a shaky breath and Thor noticed he was shivering.

"Are you cold, brother?" Thor asked concerned.

"No." Loki whispered and Thor bitterly realized his brother was shivering from fear. He could see his green eyes water while they darted nervously from one side to the other, like if he was afraid somebody else would appear. "W-What is wrong with me Thor?" He whispered in a gasp. "What is wrong with me to go to the point of losing control over myself?"

"You didn't lose control. You didn't hurt Volstagg."

"But I almost did! I was going to! Thor, there was a moment I truly wanted to dig my dagger in his throat and slip it open!"

"But you didn't. Volstagg is fine."

"You don't get the point do you? It doesn't matter if I didn't hurt him. It matters that I _wanted_ to hurt him, with no reason for it! I-I mean…its Volstagg! Who would want to hurt him in first place?" Loki nervously said, his voice shaky and stained by fear. Some tears escaped his eyes unwillingly and his hands shook terribly, as he joined and separated them repeatedly, like if he didn't know what to do with them.

"It is okay, Loki. It's normal to lose your head for some seconds during the heat of a battle. Even if it's only training." Thor reassured his younger brother, while he rested his hand on Loki's back who, this time, consented.

"Did you ever lose your head?"

"No. But I'm different."

"Yes, you are. You don't carry this anger… t-this unbearable rage bottled up inside of you that seems to want to tear the being out of me!" Loki nervously said, while his shivering fingers moved back and forward his chest. "I am afraid of myself, Thor. I-I am afraid of what I am capable of doing! What will happen when this rage is too much to bear? You don't imagine the dark thoughts I have sometimes. I try to shake them away, because they terrify me! Because they are so horrible!"

"Loki, you must not think so ill about yourself. You didn't do anything wrong." Thor tried to calm his brother down, but Loki was too distressed to believe any of his smoothing words and shook his head miserably, while thicker tears cascaded down his face.

"You have no idea of what I could do if I would surrender to my dark thoughts." Loki confessed, while he locked his gaze on Thor's. "Thor, there will come a day I will hurt somebody. I'm afraid it will be you. Because I love you so much and I hate you so much too!"

"Don't speak of such nonsense, brother."

"I'm not speaking of nonsense! You're not listening! What will you do when I'll turn against you? What will you do when I'll be beyond reasoning? What will you do when I'll try to…" Loki put a shaky hand in front of his mouth. _Kill you_. He was unable to speak out loud his last thought. Because it was too horrible to vocalize.

"Oh, Loki. Why do you torment yourself like this?" Thor asked while he wrapped both his arms around his sibling's back.

Loki rested his head on his brother's shoulder and released a few miserable sobs, while he cried the rest of his tears out. Loki's fingers dug his older sibling's back, desperately seeking for the feeling of protection and safety he always felt when he was with Thor, but this time not finding it. Not even Thor could protect him against his own dark fears anymore. Loki closed his eyes and took deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down, while his mind replayed the great mistake he had already made the previous day.

Yesterday was the day Loki had surrendered to his dark thoughts for the first time. After learning Thor was to become the new king, Loki had let himself be completely consumed by his rage and frustration. His mind quickly forged a plan to ruin his brother's coronation day. Yesterday, was the day he broke all his father's rules by travelling unnoticed to Jotunheim and make a deal with King Laufey. He had initially though that it was just a small mischief from his part, but now that his mind was clear from any ardent emotion, he realized the seriousness of what he had done. He had involved himself in dangerous political affairs and endangered the truce between the two enemy realms. All because of his childish and selfish motives. The worst part, was that he had gone too far already to turn back. It was impossible to undo what he had started.

Now he was faced with the fact he had no other choice but to fulfill his end of his bargain, in order to avoid a retaliation from King Laufey. So he decided to stick to the plan, but in a way he could minimize the dangers. If he would do things properly, the Frost Giants would die even before coming close to their goal. If he was lucky, the Allfather would chose to keep the truce between the two realms and consider the invasion the result of a minor security breach. He would consider the raid attempt as one taken by a few rebellious Frost Giants, acting independently from Laufey. Loki could still set up things so the truce between Asgard and Jotunheim would remain unharmed. Loki finally calmed down, resting himself assure that he still could ament his irrational and impulsive action. All he had to do was to limit the damage to the lowest possible level.

* * *

><p><strong>AN **

**Just wondering...is anybody even reading this?**

**Feedback is important, otherwise, how will I know if the story is good?**

**So please, just take a short minute a leave a review ;)**


	8. Changed

**Chapter 8: Changed**

The only thing that could have gone wrong, the smallest imaginable of all improbable possibilities actually happened. Loki had planned this out so carefully and so well-thoughtfully. He had deposited all his energy and wisdom in placing down the pieces of the game in such a strategic manner, that he was sure he had been able to annul any damage he could have originated. However, today all his efforts in amending the sole rash decision he ever took were overruled. And it had all been Thor's stupid fault! Him and his childish overconfidence! With a single foolish bold action, Thor had managed to destroy centuries of the peaceful alliance between Asgard and Jotunheim. And why? All because his petty little party was spoiled!

Loki cursed himself for his own irrational impulsiveness the day he decided to make a deal with King Laufey. Above all, he cursed Thor for being the loud and violent person he was. What was supposed to be just _a bit of fun_, turned out to be a real nightmare. They had travelled to the cold lands of Jotunheim and only survived because he had had the sense of warning the guards, so Odin saved them in the most perfect of timings. Then he witnessed his brother being stripped off his powers and be banished to Midgard. Of course Sif had to come and beg him to talk with the Allfather and convince him in bringing Thor to back Asgard. Loki did agree that Odin's decision in exiling his brother went too far, but he was also confronted with the fact that, what Thor had done was absolutely arrogant, reckless and dangerous. Loki was divided between his heart and sense. He loved Thor above anything in this universe, but his brother was not the kind of ruler Asgard needed. Besides, Thor had become so overconfident that he had stopped listening to his or anybody else's advises.

Despite all the recent developments, Loki didn't linger in these thoughts for too long. There was another matter that haunted his mind. Something that confused and scared him so much, that he couldn't think clearly. He needed answers and there was only one way he could get them. The raven-haired prince slowly paced to the Casket of Ancient Winters. His heart bounced too fast inside his chest, while he hesitantly touched the casket with both his hands. He felt a wave of nausea sweep through his entire body as he watched the skin of his fingers slowly become blue.

"Stop!" Loki recognized his father's voice in the background, while he saw the new shade spread to his hands.

"Am I cursed?" Loki gravely asked. He somehow already knew the answer, but he needed to hear he was wrong. He needed to hear he was not_ what_ he thought he was.

"No." Odin merely said. By now, Loki was aware his whole body was covered under this new shade of blue. The prince slowly placed the casket back on its rightful place and asked the only question his mind desired to know.

"What am I?"

"You're my son."

...

Lies. It all had been lies. Loki felt sick. He couldn't breathe properly. His head was dizzy. His heart was about to explode. He stared at his father. No. He stared at the man he had called father all his life to discover he was in truth Laufey's child. A piercing pain drilled his heart as an invisible knife stabbed it, dug its flesh cruelly and slay it open. The pain, this unbearable pain didn't stop there. No, it travelled all the way down inside Loki's wounded heart till it reached his soul and shattered it into thousands of pieces.

Lies. It all had been lies. Loki's ears were deafened to Odin's weak words. Because those weren't the words of a beloved father, but those of a cruel king. Taking an innocent baby away from its realm, from its people, from its family and keep him locked up like another stolen relic. Loki was nothing but an instrument with the purpose of bringing an alliance and permanent peace between two enemy kingdoms. The instrument to unite Asgard and Jotunheim.

Lies. It all had been lies. Loki's ears were deafened to Odin's old deceits. He insisted he was his son. He told he wanted to protect him from the truth. Lies. Loki now knew what Odin had always seen in him. The monster that parents told their children at night. Loki finally understood why nothing he ever did was right, was good in Odin's eyes. He finally understood why Odin always favored Thor above him. He finally understood no matter how much Odin claimed to love him, he had lied to him all those years. It all made sense now. Odin never truly saw him as his son.

Loki felt his being fall in a whirlpool of destructive emotions. He felt his soul being wrecked and crushed by the fingers of darkness. He watched Odin collapse and sink into a deep sleep. And however it hurt and frightened him to watch his father unwell, the darkness whispered in his ears to embrace this chance. For years Loki had walked unbalanced between good and evil. For years Thor had succeeded in dampening Loki's dark tendencies. But Thor wasn't here today to save him from himself. And so the raven-haired prince allowed himself be seduced by his darkened thoughts. He would make up for all the years he strived for Odin's love. He would take his revenge. He would make the Allfather's greatest fear become true. Loki was going to make sure Odin was having a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard. All he had to do was make sure his brother would stay out of the way.

…

"I will not fight you brother!" Thor yelled.

"I'm not your brother! I never was." Loki replied, an unfamiliar hatred filling his clear eyes. Thor stared at him confused, failing to understand what was going on with his sibling. He still couldn't believe Loki would want to kill him and their friends. He would never have dreamt he would do such a thing. But here he was, his beloved little brother, the prudent prince of Asgard destroying an entire race, demanding Thor to fight him and now he was saying they weren't brothers. Surely Loki was out of his mind. Nothing of this made any sense at all.

"Loki, this is madness." Thor said, trying to put some sense into his now completely deranged brother. But Loki's following words scared the shit out the god of thunder.

"Is it madness? Is it? _Is it_?!" It was like if each syllable spelled out bared an unconceivable amount of loathing, of despise and, indeed madness. Thor read the crude rage in Loki's eyes and couldn't understand the origin of his irrational behavior. But eventually the answer came to him. "What happened in Earth to turn you so _soft_? Don't tell me it was that _woman_?!... Oh! It was!"

Thor stared scared at his clever brother. He had seen through him. The shock at the moment of realization was terribly clear in Loki's voice. Hurt, anger and betrayal. The god of thunder knew he could as well had stabbed a knife in Loki's heart, the effect would had been the same. Because the one thing they never believed was possible to happen, had indeed happened. A woman had come in between them. Thor had fallen in love with Jane Foster. It was not an attraction, it was not an infatuation, it was not a passion. It was a genuine kind of love, so pure, so real, so beautiful that it flourished in the most perfect way during three short days. During some seconds, Thor was lost for words and didn't know how to react. He could not deny it. It had happened so quickly. It had happened in such a short space of time that before he knew it, Jane had already taken a special place in his heart.

Of course Loki had watched them interact high up from his throne. For course he had read all the signs. And now he was furious. Now he was threatening to hurt Jane. Although Thor knew it was because Loki was hurt and angry; when he heard his brother's perfidious words, he felt a sudden rage build up in his chest. He felt an unbelievably desire for protecting the innocent and altruistic Jane. With no words, Thor gave exactly what Loki wanted. A fight. But it wasn't the kind of fight they usually had. It was a mortal combat with the only intent of defeating the other, even if it meant killing him. Or at least, Loki seemed to act that way. Thor didn't recognized this ferocious warrior as Loki gave all he had in speed, agility, strength and magic to bring him down. Yet, Thor would not kill his brother, his best friend, his lover. So he placed Mjölnir on top of the god of mischief, preventing him from moving, while he walked back to the dome, with the intent of stopping the Bifröst from destroying Jotunheim completely.

"You hear me brother? There's nothing you can do!" Loki yelled, as he laid on the colorful bridge.

Loki's words always had quite a peculiar effect in Thor, often leading the older sibling into doing exactly the opposite of what he meant. Just like now. Because Thor, not seeing any other option in stopping the total destruction of Jotunheim, commanded Mjölnir back to his hand and started to hit the bridge's floor. Loki's shouts in convincing him to stop had no effect in the blond warrior. Not even when he told him he would never see _her_ again. Because Thor knew that, despite the inevitable separation, this was what Jane Foster would have wanted. He finally understood his father's teachings about being a ruler. It was putting other's interests before yours, knowing that sometimes you have to sacrifice something or somebody you love in other to protect the other realms and save the many innocent people that live in them. He sensed Loki behind him and knew his brother would try to stop him. But it was too late. The floor was already cracking, and with this final blast, it finally blew apart in a great explosion.

…

There they stood, in the edge of doom. Odin had reached the Bifröst just in time to grasp Thor's foot and stop him from being swallowed by the Universe. Thor, by his turn, had managed to grip the scepter from which Loki was hanging on. Thor and Loki's gazes met for brief moments. Every unspoken word was said in the looks of their eyes. Loki read the fear in the azure orbs, the pain, the sorrow, the forgiveness, the love. So much love. And this love was the only thing that kept him from falling into the slurping vortex underneath him. The only thing that made him want to hold on to that scepter. But while Loki hung unbalanced at the end of the royal scepter, he looked up saw _him_. Odin. His father. The man he always admired. The man that always told him he loved him as his own, and yet never revealed it. The man for who Loki would go to all extremes just to hear one word of approval, one word of pride, one word of recognition. That was the only thing Loki ever wanted. To be loved by Odin just like Thor was.

"I've could have done it, father!" Loki yelled, the winds around him being fierce and powerful. "I could have done it. For you! For all of us!" His words were a desperate plea. Words of a neglected child screaming for the love of his father. He stared at Odin's face with hope. Hope his father would see the valor in him. Hope his father would recognize his limitedness efforts in protecting those he loved. Hope his father would love him for who he was.

"No Loki." Odin's voice was a mere whisper, and yet it travelled fast to Loki's ears. Odin saw arrogance, cruelty and selfishness in Loki's eyes, but Thor saw the emotional stab, he saw the painful wound bleed in his brother's watery eyes. Disappointment. Rejection. One single tear slip down Loki's cheek. Defeat. Thor's heart panged when he realized Loki didn't see the sense of going on anymore.

"Loki no!" Thor urged when he realized Loki had given up. His eyes had a strange glint of compliance. His face was too determined. Too peaceful. And then he stretched his fingers open and released his hold from the scepter. His eyes never left Thor's. They paid him farewell. Loki had accepted death.

"Nooooooo!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**You probably already know, but just to make sure, the used quotes are all from the first Thor movie.**

**I hope you are enjoying the story. I believe things are going to become more interesting from here on. I will continue basing myself in the movies storyline but bring my own interpretation to it.**

**Please review :)**


	9. Fallen

_I fell from grace. _

_I fell into a never-ending black hole. _

_I fell eternally into oblivion. _

_._

_I thought I would die, but die, I did not._

_._

_I gasped desperately for inexistent air._

_I grasped the nothingness of void. _

_My body twisted and twirled in a cruel dance, my being was tearing apart. _

_I fell endlessly in the shadows of hollowness. _

_I fell deeper into the pit of emptiness._

_I fell eternally into oblivion._

_._

_I prayed to die, but die, I did not. _

_._

_Instead, I hit the ground. _

_Mercilessly hard and cold floor. _

_It crushed my being to its core, shattered my bones, burned my skin, bled my soul._

_Pain. _

_._

_All my senses betrayed me._

_I became blinded, all I saw was darkness. _

_I became deaf, all I heard was thundering silence. _

_I had fallen eternally into oblivion._

_I could not move. _

_._

_And wondered if this was how death felt. But dead, I knew I was not._

_._

_This was not Heaven neither Hell. _

_This was Purgatory, a place that exists not. _

_I lived a cruel existence. _

_Banished by the living, cursed by the universe, forgotten by everybody, abandoned forever. _

_I wandered in a place that exists not, I lived in oblivion._

_._

_I saw before my eyes flashes of a life I knew was not mine._

_I saw myself, and yet it wasn't me._

_A loved son, a cared brother, a trusty friend. _

_I saw before my eyes flashes of my old life. _

_I recognized the shadow I always was, loathed and rejected. _

_A lost soul._

_._

_I roamed in oblivion, doomed to wander in the ruins of my past,_

_ exhausted and weakened, _

_defeated and abandoned,_

_forgotten by the world. _

_Alone in the cold and darkness._

_._

_I mourned my existence. _

_I mourned what others could never mourn in this ruined world._

_My world. _

_Where I found nothing. _

_A world with no love, no happiness, no hope. _

_Only suffocating black darkness, the hard noise of silence, loneliness. _

_A world of past memories, old lies, broken promises, shattered dreams. _

_Treachery. _

_._

_I wandered lost in the ruins of my past, doomed to dwell in my own Purgatory._

_My mouth tasted fear, despair blurred my vision. _

_It was all too great to bear. _

_My body contorted of pain as my soul bled in its core._

_Pain that was too overwhelming. _

_And when I thought I would finally die, I accepted it all peacefully. _

_._

_But die I did not. _

_._

_I accepted my broken being, my poor fate, my destroyed past, my doomed future. _

_I embraced the darkness and felt free._

_I drunk revenge and rose stronger. _

_I breathed hatred and the pain subsided._

_I roamed eternally in oblivion, tortured by my memories._

_And now my heart is as cold as ice._

_Not even the hottest fire can melt it away. _

_And I am glad for it. _

_Glad I became emotionless, for I became unstoppable._

_._

_Brother_

…

Loki woke up with a strenuous gasp. He took several strained breaths, as his lungs burned at each breath intake. He contorted, curled into a ball and turned to his side with a groan. He had no idea how long he had laid there unconscious. He had no idea how long he had fallen in the void of stardust, between clouds and gas of helium and hydrogen. It hurt. Everything hurt. It was a kind of pain that went beyond the physical level. He closed his eyes and tears escaped them. He still could see Odin staring down at him. He could see the loathing and despise in his single blue eye. Odin never loved him. Odin never cared for him. Loki was nothing more than a stolen relic in the Allfather's eyes. He was all his life fooled by the man he used to call father. The man he had once loved and admired. The man he would have done anything just to receive his approval. But that never would happen. Not while Thor was still around.

Loki struggled to stand up. The slightest move made all his muscles burn and feel like they were about to burst. But the pain made him feel the more alive. His lips drew a maddened smile as a soft bitter laughter escaped them. Thor. It was always all about Thor! That ignorant oaf that somehow managed to conquer everybody's hearts with his warm smile! He even managed to conquer _his_ cold heart! But not anymore. Thor would pay for all the suffering he had to endure all these years. Thor would pay for his ungratefulness, for all the times he watched his back, helped him out and saved him from difficult and even dangerous situations. For all the times Thor received all the glory and the veneration from the world, while it was he, Loki of Asgard, who had saved everybody's asses! And what for? To be shoved into the background, pushed away into the shadows, discarded like a worthless thing? To be stepped over every single time? No. Not anymore.

The god of mischief stood up, his body still trembling from pain. But a new wave of excitement filled his chest. There was a thought in the back of Loki's head that told him he was going mad. But he ignored this thought and instead fuelled his heart with hatred and desire for revenge. Thor would pay for all of this! He, Loki, would have the throne. It was his birthright. He would take what was rightful from him. No matter what the costs were. Suddenly, his train of thoughts froze as Loki sensed a presence behind him. He quickly turned around and faced a hooded ugly looking creature.

"That was quite a fall." The creature spoke. The first thing Loki noticed in him was the row of long dirty sharp teeth. The creature's looks made him feel nauseous. "An ordinary Asgardian would die in mere minutes, resist a few hours perhaps, if he was to be strong. But two days… You are not an ordinary Asgardian, are you Loki Odinson?"

"Who are you? Where am I?" Loki asked exasperated, ignoring the piercing stab in his heart at his title's mention. He needed to understand who this creature was, what he wanted with him. Why he had allowed him to survive while he laid unconscious.

"Who I am or where you are; are not really relevant."

"What do you want?" The creature's ugly mouth drew a wide distasteful grin.

"I serve lord Thanos. He wishes to make an alliance with you."

…

**One year later**

He had failed. Loki had led an army of Chitauri to Midgard, had a magical scepter, the power of the Tesseract and yet he failed. Fate must be laughing hard at his face, because Loki was again imprisoned by this mediocre group of puny humans that liked to call themselves the Avengers. Thor's new friends. How had his well-thought plan failed, he would never understand. He had all the tools in his hands, the right allies and the best motives. But Fate clearly enjoyed mocking him, because he lost. He sat beaten against the glass and stared at the ceiling. This prison cell was the exact replica of the one he had been locked up earlier in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s flying fortress. If Thor's Mjölnir couldn't break this glass he, who was in severe pain and still licking his wounds after Hulk tossed him around like a rag doll, wouldn't even make a scratch in it.

Loki sighed realizing he was alone again. There existed no kind of loyalty between Thanos and him, to start with. Considering he had failed his end of his bargain and, above all, lost an entire army; it was more than clear Thanos had no kind of interest in him anymore. In addition, the inhabitants of at least three realms hated his guts right now and wanted his execution. He could as well face it. He had written down his own death sentence.

"Why did you do it, brother?" Thor's voice interrupted his thoughts and invaded his head. Loki had sensed him entering the space, of course. He simply preferred to deny his presence. "Why wouldn't you just come home?"

"I've told you already. I don't have it." Loki bitterly answered. He took his eyes away from the ceiling to look at his sibling. Thor was holding shackles and a mouth piece Loki knew had to come from Asgard. "Ah, so you've finally come to officially arrest me. Is that thing really necessary? Afraid I might poison your ears with my words?" He spoke with a mocking voice and had an easy smile on his lips, like if nothing of this concerned him. Like if it was all just a game.

Thor stared at his brother the least amused. He questioned himself of how he didn't see it before. How could he miss that look in Loki's gaze in the past? That look of aloofness was nothing but a carefully built cold façade hiding years of repressed suffering. That disdainful tone was nothing but the camouflage for the desperate silent pleas for help that were never answered. Thor realized Loki had been walking in the edge during all these years, balancing dangerously between good and wrong. Darkness had been seducing him for a long time already, something Loki had been frightened of in the past. Loki had warned him about this day. The day he would be completely out of reach. And yet, Thor never really saw it, never listened to his brother's words, never truly understood him. Only now, in this very moment, did he realize what had happened to Loki.

"How could I fail to see you change_?" _Thor asked more to himself. _From the loved and happy child to the excluded brother. From the excluded brother to the insecure boy. From the insecure boy to the envious teenager. From the envious teenager to the bitter man full of rage. Such powerful raw rage. _Thor sorrowfully thought. Loki stared at him surprised for some seconds and then made a scoffing sound. "I still love you brother, though you tell me you hate me."

"I do not need your petty talk! Or your pity. Just get on with it for once and all!" Loki spat furious, but Thor knew it was fear and pain that made him behave like this. He was like a wounded cornered animal, using his last resources to defend himself against the inevitable.

"Please, listen to me Loki. I still care for you, even after you tried to kill me."

"Well, then you are obviously more stupid than I had thought." Loki arrogantly said, crude hatred shining in his eyes, piercing Thor's soul mercilessly.

"Loki, I'll still protect you."

"I need no protection! Not from you, not from anybody!" Loki furiously screamed, hitting the glass in a sudden move. Thor stared shocked at his brother as his face was a reflection of pure rage and loathing. He didn't recognize this broken being, this person who kept pushing him away in the most agonizing manners. "If you think you can patronize me, then you are very wrong Thor! You see, I don't want any help from you! Actually I don't want anything from you! Because this is all _your_ fault!"

"How is this any of my fault?! Who got the Frost Giants into Asgard? Who almost destroyed Jotunheim? Who started a war in Midgard?!" Thor furiously accused, feeling frustrated by his brother's refusal in reasoning. "It was _you _who betrayed the people that love you!"

"Enough!" Loki yelled, his body trembling from the anger that burned his veins. "You are too much of a fool to understand anything! I had to open my own way to glory! I had to go behind of what's rightful to me!"

"Loki, I refuse to believe this is all because of a throne!"

"Oh, but it's so much more than just a throne. It's about who's the better king!" Loki shouted as hatred and despise grew in his chest. "I should be the king because I'm actually the one who knows something about governing, about political and war affairs! I actually think before I talk or act or decide to invade a realm and break old alliances! You see, it takes a little bit more to rule than just hitting the ground with a stupid hammer!"

"I refuse to accept your words as the truth, Loki. I know your lies by now you're just saying those things to hurt me because you are suffering. Why won't you accept my help? You don't need to be alone." Thor insisted his tone still upset but a bit softer, almost pleading. Loki seemed to calm down too, and now stared at Thor with a sad look.

"You don't get it, do you?" Loki whispered, looking sorrowful. "I am alone. I always have been." He then turned his back to Thor. "I regret nothing of what I've done. So just arrest me and get this over with." He coldly whispered.

Thor opened his mouth but closed it right afterwards. Loki was beyond reasoning. He had changed so much that Thor didn't recognize anymore the person with whom he had fallen deeply in love with. He pressed a combination of buttons and the door opened itself. He almost expected Loki to turn around and attack him, but he just stood there still. Thor walked over to Loki. The god of mischief had his head casted down, his eyes closed. The blond Asgardian put the shackles around his brother's fists first and then lifted Loki's chin, so he could put on the mouth piece. They locked their gazes for brief seconds. It was mainly sorrow and regret that filled their eyes for very different reasons and yet for the same ones.

"I wish I had _seen_ you earlier, brother." Thor regretfully told Loki.

Thor grabbed his brother's arm to guide him outside his prison cell and ignored the silent tears that escaped the green eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Last year I wrote a short personal poem for myself and kept it private. It was my own way of working out my thoughts and fellings, during a light depression. There was somebody with whom I was really mad at the time and it served as the basis for Loki's thoughs during his fall into the Void. **

**So, I would love if you shared some of your thoughts about this story/chapter. **

**I know you are reading (I received the alerts), so, please, don't be shy :)**


	10. Game of Lies

**Chapter 10: Game of Lies**

Loki sat on the floor at the corner of his cell in de dungeons, the prison with the highest security in Asgard, created with the sole purpose of making sure that those who were locked up in it could never ever come out. The god of mischief ignored the food that was magically brought into his cell. Moments like this were the only ones that allowed him to track down time and have an idea of what part of the day it was, since the bright artificial lights never went off. Loki looked tiredly at the plate. The food looked delicious, but he had no hunger or appetite. He had thus, no intention in eating the meal, just like he hadn't eaten the previous two. He was certain Frigga was behind this, the good food, the furniture, the books. He was sure his mother was doing everything in her power to make him feel comfortably. But right now, comfort did not interest him. Just like nothing else interested him.

Loki felt exhausted and yet he could not sleep. His mind was restless while his body was numb. The same thoughts kept spinning in his head, around and around, over and over again, like a tortuous whirlpool of haunting memories and untamable fears. It sucked all his energy up, it drained away all his vitality until he was too tired for anything. His fasting was of course contributing for the weakening of his body and spirit. Loki felt like he was slowly dying. But right now, he didn't really care.

_I wish I had seen you earlier, brother. _

These were the last words Thor had directed to him and they had punched right into his soul. Words that told Loki his older sibling had given up on him. The raven-haired prince had always feared for this. Deep down, he always had known this day would come. The day that Thor would understand the lost call his younger brother truly was. The day he would turn his back and finally leave him. Loki always had known this would happen sooner or later. Still, he had not been prepared for this.

The short journey from the Bifröst to the Allfather's throne room had been awkwardly silent. And once Loki was brought to the custody of Odin's soldiers, Thor left him without even looking at him one last time. This recollection was enough to make Loki's eyes prick. The raven-haired prince was sure a mean wound had been opened in his heart at that moment and it wouldn't stop bleeding, because the pain simply wouldn't go away. Loki was clearly broken-hearted. It was already bad enough to feel rejected, abandoned and loathed by everything and everybody. But by Thor, it caused such raw pain, that it felt like he was falling down the abyss of void all over again.

Loki was alone. A gasp and a sob escaped his lips as he couldn't hold back the pain any longer. This loneliness that has haunted him all his life had never felt this strong, this confronting, this tangible as it did right now. It scared him to no limit. It made him feel desperate, hopeless and terrified. He felt like a little child trapped in the dark, afraid of invisible monsters luring around him. Only, he was trapped in the most illuminated place he could be in and the monster was himself. The monster he always feared the most.

…

**One year later**

"No more illusions."

Thor told Loki with a commanding tone, while he gazed at him with an unfamiliar upset look. The god of mischief, too tired of playing games, decided to do what his brother desired.

"Now you _see _me, brother." Loki softly said and the blond Asgardian did not miss the double meaning in his words.

Thor did his best to keep his cold façade, to keep his perfectly cool posture and hide all the turbulent emotions that tormented him right now; because what was presented before his eyes was disturbing him greatly. Loki never looked his awful before. His always neatly combed hair was disheveled, his always perfectly composed clothing looked old and poor. He was barefooted and there was blood on one of his feet. Thor's younger brother looked defeated, exhausted and old. Thor slowly walked around the cell so he stood closer. The god of thunder had to restrain himself from surrendering to compassion. He had to remind himself this wasn't the person with whom he had fallen deeply in love with, the person he had shared so many marvelous and happy moments together, the person he once most trusted in this world. Thor had to remind himself that this man was a dangerous sociopath who would stab him in the back the first chance he would have.

Yet, he did _see _him. It was seldom the moment that Loki threw his defenses down and exposed his vulnerability this openly. Thor could count in one single hand the moments he had witnessed such a rare event. He knew he was the only privileged, or perhaps the unfortunate one, to do so.

"Did she suffer?" Loki asked, concern and fear all present in his eyes.

Frigga had died and guilt was already consuming the prince's soul. Guilt for speaking her the false words he spoke, his last words directed to her. Words of cruel denial. Guilt for sending that monster to the royal chambers. It was his most idiotic move ever. He could as well had killed Frigga with his own bare hands.

Thor did not know if the question was genuine or if this was Loki's way to try and win his compassion in order to manipulate him later on. Maybe it was a bit of both. The god of thunder knew his brother too well. He knew whatever feelings haunted his heart right now, rage and thirst for revenge were the most powerful in him. And right now, he needed Loki to redirect his rage to the dark elves. So Thor gave Loki the coldest answer he could give. With a short sentence, Thor eliminated any space to emotional manipulation, so he was the one in command and not the other way around.

_I did not come here to share our grief_.

It had hurt him to speak out such distant words, because he saw for one second the pain, the sorrow and the helplessness flash in Loki's green eyes. He had to break eye contact, because he could feel himself falter. When he looked back, the coldness and astuteness had already returned to his brother's gaze. Loki had already built back up the façade he always presented to the world. The façade of cold indifference, of mocking pride and overconfidence. The older sibling did not let any of his emotions transpire, because he could see Loki was now observing him closely, studying him to the smallest detail. The god of mischief was clever and he knew Thor better than anybody else. The blond warrior knew the slightest mishap - a word too much, an unconscious gesture, a slight nuance in his voice - would be enough to betray himself.

"When do we start?"

Loki asked after short strenuous silent seconds in which shrewd green eyes pierced the blue ones. Thor's heart had panged when Loki's lips had drawn a small smile and a soft "hum" had escaped his throat before he had spoken out those words. The god of thunder realized he had overdone his well-though discourse the moment he had threatened his brother. He realized, despite his efforts, Loki had seen right through him the moment he said he would kill him. Because Loki knew Thor would be incapable of killing him. He knew there was a part of Thor that still had faith in him. That still loved him and wanted to trust him again. And that fact alone put Loki in the advantage. The blond Agardian swallowed dry. Now they were both playing the same game of lies.

…

"This mortal must be very significant to make you go against all Odin's rules and commands." Loki talked in a mocking tone, while he dressed his official garments. "What's so special about her I wonder… She must be quite something in bed."

"Jane and I never had sex." Thor said annoyed and bit his tongue for giving another answer he shouldn't had given. It all had played out much better and easier in his head.

"What?! You are risking everything you have because of a platonic crush?!" Loki asked actually looking shocked.

"Sex is not everything!" Thor rashly said, while he raised his voice. His infuriated eyes met Loki's shaken and hurt gaze for some seconds. He then broke eye contact and turned his back to his brother.

"I know." Loki whispered and Thor would swear he heard regret his voice. "The Aether is a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands." The god of mischief stated in a matter of fact tone. Thor turned around to face him, a bit surprised his brother had chosen to change the subject this quickly. He noticed he was fully dressed, his hair neatly combed back, looking exactly like it always did. "So, ready to stop Malekith?"

…

Loki had been impressed with Thor's plan in getting them out of Asgard. He had tricked everybody into believing they were escaping with a large ship. Hell, even he, the god of mischief had been tricked.

Loki had also been impressed with Thor's loyalty to Jane. His devotion to this human, this insignificant, but to his brother important mortal, was unprecedented. Loki was sick of jealousy, but above all, he was curious about this Jane Foster. Most of the time he saw her, she was unconscious, but he had felt, literally, how passionate and spirited this small woman was when she had slapped him. In the end, Loki concluded she was especial. She could only be, since Thor sought in her the comfort and happiness his brother could not offer anymore. Unlike him, Jane Foster was good hearted, innocent and altruistic. She was also persistent, determinate and strong, which were the ideal assets for dealing with a person like Thor.

Strangely Loki slowly accepted the fact Thor had found a new love in his life. After all, he had ruined everything that existed between him and Thor. Their relationship had been wrong and forbidden from the start. It had been doomed from day one. Deep down, Loki had always waited in fear for the day they would finally break up. But that didn't mean he wanted to see his brother unhappy, very much on the contrary. He realized that if Jane was the person to make his brother happy, then so be it. He was okay with that.

However, the nature of this relationship did worry him greatly. Loki grimaced as he found it ironic that Thor should end up intertwined again in an impossible relationship. An Asgardian and a Human. The first was to live about five thousand years, the latter would be lucky to even reach one hundred. Thor was going to be confronted with the harshest of all realities. That the Human life was fleeting and oh-so very short. A mere heartbeat. Thor would never be prepared to watch her age so quickly, to lose her so soon. Thor would never be prepared for the pain he would have to carry afterwards. Loki tried to warn his brother about the Human's fleeting existence, but Thor wouldn't listen to him. Ultimately, Loki wondered, when had Thor ever listened to him, anyway?

Finally, Loki had been impressed with Thor's brilliant but absolutely mad plan. It was so full of risks, everything in it could go wrong, and yet, everything did go well. But Loki, the Weaver of Lies, used the risks involved for his own benefit for he too had a plan. A secret plan. One that presented itself as the proof, the confirmation that he was truly a monster. The monster he had learned to accept he was, not so long ago. What Loki had planned went beyond the concept of immorality. It was so obnoxious that even he was surprised he was able to carry it out.

Loki had been impressed with himself and how cruel and calculating he could be. To forge his own death, to be able to pretend he was dying in his brother's arms while Thor tried desperately to comfort him during his final minutes of life. To be able to lay still while Thor cried and released one horrible scream of agony. To deceive and make his brother mourn him all over again. Loki bitterly thought he truly did not deserve Thor's or anybody else's love. It was impossible to go lower than this, but at least Thor would keep a positive memory of him. Thor would remember Loki as the person who sacrificed himself for those he loved. Because in fact, that was exactly what he was doing.

"I'm sorry Thor." Loki whispered as he stood up after he magically broke the sand storm in Svartalfheim, the tempest he had created to make sure his brother and Jane would need to leave his dead body behind.

Loki had planned this carefully out. His brother had Jane now. Even if her short lifespan was only a heartbeat, Loki knew she would make his brother happier in a few decades than he could ever make in long millenia. If she had in mere three days succeeded in changing Thor from an immature and violent warrior to a calmer and wiser prince, imagine how she could impact him in fifty years? Loki had decided to give Thor one heartbeat of love and happiness before the burden of the throne would be fallen to him. Because, after Jane´s death, Thor would finally be ready to rule. Until then, Loki would rule as regent. He had to find a way to persuade the Allfather to step down the throne and give him the power. Odin needed to understand this was a mere temporary action, to lighten up his burden and prepare Asgard for the new king. But before that, he had an unfinished matter to treat with Odin. It was finally time to reveal what Odin truly thought about Loki.

…

"I've returned from the Dark World with news." Loki spoke under the guise of a soldier. Odin stood opposite the throne looking old and tired, increasing the prince's certainty it was time for him to hand over the power to somebody younger and more spirited.

"Thor?" Of course Odin would ask for Thor. His precious perfect son. How it must be biting him to know that his loyal son had committed high treason against him. He pretended he had not found the blond warrior, quickly turning the old king's attention to where he wanted.

"We found a body." Loki casted his eyes down as a strange feeling of triumph and anticipation filled his chest. There was a pause, the short amount of time that Odin needed to figure out whose body it was.

"Loki."

The prince in the guise of a soldier lifted his eyes to look at Odin. This was the moment of truth. It would be revealed to him now, what the king truly thought and felt about his adopted son. So he pretended to leave the room, casting an illusion of the soldier walking away, while he remained in the room invisible to the Allfather. At first, Odin had no kind of reaction. He simply stood unmoving in front of the throne for a while, like if he was frozen in time. He was clearly lost in thoughts, processing the news that had been just given to him. Loki stared a bit curious and heard his name being whispered. Then Odin's hand travelled to his temple, his trembling fingers rubbing it. He covered his mouth for a few seconds and then let his hand fall to his side. Loki realized Odin was breathing heavily and was having difficulties in remaining on his feet. The god of mischief broke the illusion the moment he saw Odin fall over to his side, while the sound of deep breathing filled the room.

"Father!" Loki yelled without realizing it. "Father, please no. Not again!"

He made a short run and bended over to look at the Allfather. It was as he had feared. Odin had fallen into the Odinsleep. Loki's hand hesitantly met his father's and he sighed regretfully. From all the scenarios he had played off in his head, this one had never happened. With a trembling hand, Loki caressed his father's hair. Frigga's death, Thor's betrayal and now the news of his youngest son's death had been too much for him to deal with. Loki cursed his brilliant plan, because he just discovered his father truly loved him. And he was probably going to lose him before he ever had the change to beg for forgiveness.

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><p><strong>Reviews are welcome ;)<strong>


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